Winter Bud - Chapter 97
Their father stayed at the Imperial Palace for about two seasons. When he did so, they said it was because of their mother that he remained on the outskirts of the capital. Then, in some years, because of their mother, he stayed entirely in Andella.
Even so, it was extremely rare for the siblings to meet him. Unless there was special business, their father didn’t see them. So saying they’d become orphans was true. That they’d lost their parents was true. They also thought so.
“Isn’t it your wish?”
“Oppa.”
“You said you wanted to see her, even from far away,” Slan murmured weakly.
Stella nodded. Since she wouldn’t recognize them anyway, it was meaningless to approach her and call her Mother. So she wanted to see, even from far away, how she was doing. If only she could do that, it felt like she could do anything.
“But… what if, what if Father finds out?”
Stella looked at her brother with a worried face. In many ways, it was impossible. Andella was a small village in the south. The natural scenery was beautiful, so vacationers often came, but basically, it was a place where outsiders stood out. Besides, even if they went on horseback, it was a place that took quite some time to reach.
She rolled her lips in. When she thought of her father, her heart beat fast. Even though she was at an age where she would be marrying soon, it was like that. Her father was still a person who frightened her and was hard to face. After her mother ended up like that, he kept them at a distance as if he didn’t need his children anymore.
Like useless things that couldn’t be used anywhere. He shoved them somewhere out of sight and never looked back. Even when they happened to cross paths in the palace, he would turn his gaze away with an expressionless face….
“Do you not want to?”
“It’s not that. I just don’t have the courage.”
At her brother’s question, Stella bit her lip. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to. She was afraid. It was a place they had to ride far to leave the palace. And if her father really did find out….
“I’m the emperor now,” Slan added cheerfully.
Stella lifted her head and looked at her brother. She laughed. Right. Her brother was the emperor now. He was ruling as Falcomere’s second emperor. Since he ascended the throne at twelve, he’d been reigning as emperor all along. Even though she knew it, she often forgot. Because Slan was someone so close and familiar to her.
“…Like I don’t know that.”
Stella smiled faintly. Slan’s coronation was extremely splendid. Since it was the first time she’d seen such a grand event, Stella was quite tense then. Because their father’s face was extremely stern. He didn’t have a deep illness, and there was no special reason that made it impossible for him to rule, but their father wanted to pass the throne to his young son.
Slan became Falcomere’s second emperor like that. His maternal grandfather was the late Duke Everhardt, and his mother was Stateira Everhardt. Stella was the same. In her family tree, there was no trace of her birth mother.
The woman, who once lived in the imperial palace as Everhardt’s daughter and the founding emperor’s empress consort, had no trace to be found in the imperial palace. Stella didn’t know whether this was a good thing or a bad thing. Sometimes she wanted to ask her mother, but she couldn’t do that with a woman who now couldn’t remember anything.
“…Oppa, are you afraid of Father too?” Stella asked Slan quietly, turning her gaze slightly away.
Slan didn’t answer. Even though she was at an age to marry, Stella was afraid of her father. Wouldn’t Slan be the same? Even if he was emperor, his father would frighten him too. So he couldn’t easily speak about his mother.
“Should I just tell Her Majesty the Empress Mother?”
“…There’s no need.”
Slan shook his head. Stella stared at him blankly. Their father was still no different from the emperor. That was why Slan’s rule wasn’t complete. Even when the situation allowed it, their father’s influence was considerable. Slan also reported to him whenever he had to decide something important, and he willingly accepted the orders presented under the pretext of advice to the young emperor.
“Oppa.”
“As long as we don’t get caught, it’s fine. Right?”
Slan smiled faintly. Stella thought of her mother. Kind and tender…. Like early spring sunshine. She’d prayed desperately to meet her even in a dream. Stella bit her lip, then slowly nodded.
***
Rumble rumble, crash crash-
The thunder ringing in her ears was loud. Nanna opened her eyes and watched the thunder strike. It was clearly bright weather until afternoon, but as the sun set, rainclouds gathered and dyed the sky black. Suddenly she thought of the laundry she’d hung out in the morning and got up from the bed. As she tried to move quietly so her husband wouldn’t wake, a large hand grabbed her wrist. Startled, Nanna turned her head.
“Where are you going?”
“The laundry.”
At Nanna’s short answer, he lifted his body. As he was about to tell her to sleep more, his large body pulled her into an embrace. Hot breath warmed her collarbone. When Nanna tried to push his head away, twitching, as he bit at her nape, her husband only pressed his lips there.
“Let go. I need to go check, quickly.”
“So what?”
“It’s all going to get wet.”
“It’s already wet, honey.”
He laughed. The hand that held her waist slipped between her thighs. Nanna twisted and slapped that hand away. Her husband didn’t let her go easily. The body holding her tight like a restraint was very thick. It looked old, but on the lumpy body beneath his shirt, there were scattered traces of serious scars.
“…Why did it end up like this?”
“Don’t worry about it.”
They were lacerations or stab wounds that must have been serious then. When Nanna, with a worried face, traced those horrific marks, he answered indifferently. He said he was an orphan from a monastery and once served in a war. He said he’d earned merit on the battlefield in his own way and had even lived as a lord’s attendant knight.
And yet that man was a gardener. It was hard to believe, but he was passionate in his own way. So there must have been many places in the capital that wanted him. Nanna traced the thick arm of the man who pressed his lips to her earlobe with a little ‘smack’ sound.
Just like he said, the laundry was already wet. Maybe it was a mess and rolling around on the ground. So wouldn’t it be fine to clean it up when morning came? Laziness wrapped around her tightly. Unable to withstand the man’s weight, Nanna toppled back down as if collapsing.
Karl held her. Thick arms bound her, and his legs gently hooked around her. Nanna stared at the sharp outline revealed in the brightening surroundings. Karl and she met eight years ago, at a monastery.
It was a small monastery with nuns who nursed and cared for wandering sick people. What in the world was she doing that she drifted there. Where her family was. Nanna, who couldn’t remember anything at all, had also been there. What kind of accident did she suffer for her head to be as blank and white as this….
The young nun who’d cared for her until she opened her eyes also said she knew absolutely nothing about Nanna. She said she’d simply found her in a forest not far from the imperial palace.
“You were collapsed unconscious by the stream.”
The young voice lingered by her ear. She said there didn’t seem to be any injuries, and that Nanna was just limp like a dead person, so when she first saw her, she thought she was a pure white wax doll. But when she looked closer, she was a person, and she was even alive, so she didn’t know how shocked she’d been….
“It was only after four days like that that you opened your eyes.”
“…I see.”
“You really don’t remember a single thing?”
“…Not even your age or your name?”
“Yes.”
When Nanna nodded with a gloomy face, the young nun let out a deep sigh. Still, she said that if Nanna ate well and rested well, she might remember at least a little, so she should wait. Nanna waited as she said, for time to pass, but she still couldn’t remember anything.
It was stifling and bleak. In some moments, fear covered her in an instant. The anxiety that she would have to live in the world like this, without anything coming back to her, strangled her throat. It was around then that she met Karl.
He was also one of the monastery’s wandering sick. He said he’d lost his family in the war, and he was suffering from an unknown skin disease. With that handsome face, sadly….
After her body recovered to some degree, Nanna met him while following the nuns and caring for the sick.
While wrapped up in a poncho, Karl watched Nanna quietly, then asked her to feed him soup even though his fingers weren’t rotted away. Nanna looked at him, dumbfounded.
“Didn’t you willingly feed soup to the patient next to me?”
“That’s because he doesn’t have one arm.”
“His left arm looked perfectly fine.”
He replied gruffly. Nanna stared at him stiffly, then set her mind straight.
Right. What good would it do to get angry at a sick person?
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msprism
Kind of off-topic but I am studying the history of Mesopotamia right now and while I was reading about the Sumerian civilization, I found out that one of its major city-state, Ur, has a patron saint named Nanna — she’s the moon god. I wonder if the author named our mc after her since the fl has white/silver hair which reminds me of the moon