The Serpent of Paradise - Chapter 45

When Anastasia returned to her room with the dictionary, the world outside was certainly still flooded with light, but by the time she came to her senses, darkness had settled over the room. Startled, she turned around and found the table already laden with food that had gone cold.

‘When did Natasha come by?’

As Anastasia searched her memory, she vaguely recalled telling Natasha that she wanted to concentrate on reading today and asking her to prepare only a simple dinner, then locking the door after she left. How had she forgotten that?

After sitting there blankly for another long while, Anastasia brought over the lamp from the table and placed it above the dictionary.

When she was young, the village chief’s son brought this dictionary and showed it off. Wanting to see more of it, Anastasia reached out her hand and was beaten terribly. She remembered being struck across the calves until they bled. Anastasia lowered a hand and felt her calves. The scars from back then were gone now. Even so, the moment her hand touched them, the pain of the switch coming down returned, making her body flinch.

‘I forgot everything.’

Her memories weren’t the only things she had forgotten. Anastasia couldn’t remember the last time she prayed to God.

When was the last time she gave thanks for not going hungry? When was the last time she gave thanks for not being cold? When was the last time she prayed… for Him to take her life while she slept?

In the past, she prayed all day long, from morning until night. It was the only thing she could do. The Scripture and prayers were the only knowledge she possessed, so she had no choice but to repeat them over and over.

Sadly, Anastasia’s memory knew exactly when it began. Her prayers became less frequent after she started spending time with Mikhail. Rather than thinking of God in heaven, she became more concerned with Mikhail before her.

Mikhail didn’t pray. He said he didn’t believe in God. As Anastasia watched him pick up his fork, she also picked up her utensils without praying.

Shocked by her own behavior, which she hadn’t been conscious of until now, Anastasia lowered her head. In the past, forgetting to pray even once made her feel as though the world would collapse. But why… did she feel no fear now, even after realizing her wrongdoing?

Anastasia turned her gaze toward the dictionary on the desk.

‘Mistress.’

In fact, among all the books Anastasia devoured indiscriminately, there were several novels. The novels about events within aristocratic families in the capital were extremely exciting.

But when she reached the part where the protagonist said his father had a mistress, Anastasia closed the book. Then she began reading an exploration journal of the southern continent that had nothing whatsoever to do with the novel she had been reading moments before.

The same thing happened when she read other books. The moment the word mistress appeared, Anastasia closed the book. Did she lose interest because she encountered a word she didn’t know? Or… did she not want to know what it meant?

With trembling hands, Anastasia opened the dictionary. When she turned past the thick leather cover, she found the dictionary’s preface.

Below the densely written passage explaining who the author was and whose help made the dictionary possible, Anastasia found something that caught her eye.

With trembling hands, Anastasia opened the dictionary. Turning past the thick leather cover, she found the preface.

Beneath the detailed text explaining the author’s identity and the assistance received in compiling the work, a particular passage caught her eye.

…O you who reach for the wisdom of the world for the first time. We once lived in God’s paradise, but after eating the fruit of good and evil, and of knowledge, we came to this earth. This dictionary exists to gather the fragments of wisdom that God has scattered throughout the world. It is my prayer that, with the wisdom gained from this dictionary, you will distinguish the good and evil within yourself, never again succumb to the serpent’s temptation, and always walk the righteous path toward God.

Below the preface, which ended with those words, was an illustration of a red serpent coiled around a red fruit. The serpent was the same color as the hair spilling down around her, so Anastasia hurriedly turned the page.

True to its title, A Comprehensive Dictionary for Children, the dictionary explained words in a way that was truly easy to understand. Moreover, it was filled throughout with illustrations depicting the situations in the example sentences. After turning pages for a long while, Anastasia’s hand stopped. There, alongside the definition of “paradise,” was the illustration she saw as a child.

The picture she had reached out for, wanting to see just a little more.

There was unmistakably a tree bearing red fruit, with the first humans beside it, and behind them stood a beautiful mansion and a forest. Anastasia searched for the red serpent hiding in the forest and watching the humans. But the serpent wasn’t there.

‘Where?’

As Anastasia studied the illustration, she discovered the serpent somewhere different from where she remembered it. At some point, the red serpent had hidden itself not in the forest, but inside the mansion, watching the humans through a window.

“…!”

The moment she realized this, Anastasia violently flipped through the dictionary. Rip! The thin paper tore as the pages turned rapidly. But Anastasia didn’t stop and continued flipping through them.

Only after the page about paradise was far behind her did her frantically moving hand finally stop.

“Haa… haa….”

Ragged breaths burst from her as though she had run for her life. Anastasia clamped her mouth shut and held her breath. Her chest heaved as it tried to draw in more air to soothe her breathlessness. Having fled from paradise, Anastasia moved her hand in search of the words she had avoided looking up all this time.

Lewd, wicked, cunning….

Was it because the dictionary was compiled by someone devout enough to invoke God in its preface? Unlike other dictionaries, its definitions included numerous example sentences and illustrations, even lines from novels, to aid understanding. As though it were determined to tell you exactly what the word meant if you truly didn’t know.

They were words she heard every day as a child. Weakly turning the pages of the dictionary, Anastasia finally found the word she needed to look up.

Mistress. A woman who, despite not being a man’s wife, gives him affection and maintains an intimate and profound relationship with him. A man who, despite not being a woman’s husband, gives her affection and maintains an intimate and profound relationship with her. One who drives the sacred marital union recognized by God to ruin.

The definition wasn’t long, but the compiler seemed to have a great deal he wanted to convey about mistresses, for he included a large illustration and several passages from novels.

A woman who was clearly naked hid beneath a blanket on the bed, while beside her, a properly dressed man waved to his wife, who was calling him from outside the door. A deep shadow hung over the part of the bed where the woman lay. As though that were the only place a mistress belonged.

Plop. Plop. Drops of water rolled down her cheeks and fell onto the dictionary.

Anastasia closed it.

“I knew….”

How could she not know what mistress meant? The word appeared in so many places.

In a travelogue about Ils, in an academic text about the southern continent, and in novels set in the capital. As though the whole world consisted of mistresses.

Mistresses were condemned everywhere. They were described as the most shameless of all people, so filthy that even prostitutes who sold their bodies for money were preferable, yet they dared to speak of love, an emotion bestowed by God. Of course they were. Among the ten commandments God specifically ordered mankind to obey, wasn’t there one forbidding them from coveting what belonged to another?

It wasn’t that she didn’t know. She merely wanted to pretend she didn’t. Anastasia went to her bed and buried her face in the blanket.

She knew very well what kind of person Mikhail was. The more she came to understand this new world, the more she realized what a tremendous kindness the time and effort he bestowed upon her represented. She also learned that no one in this world gave without expecting something in return. The only people who gave without seeking repayment were those who felt pity for the recipient.

Mikhail often said that he was a merchant and only made deals that profited him. So he would surely try to collect payment from her for the kindness he bestowed. There was only one thing she could give him.

Wet patches from her tears spread across the blanket. As she wept silently, without sobs or even labored breaths, Anastasia thought.

Anastasia wasn’t afraid that he wanted her body. What truly frightened her… was that he pitied her.

Anastasia’s consciousness slowly sank into darkness.

***

Anastasia was alone in an old chapel. Not the abandoned chapel in the forest, but the chapel in the countryside where she lived with her father as a child.

As Anastasia looked around, unable to understand why she was there, she heard an old wooden door open at the back of the chapel. It was the sound of her father coming out. Sensing danger, her body moved swiftly according to its ingrained memories.

Anastasia hurried beneath a wooden pew and held her breath. The closer the footsteps came, the more she stifled her breathing. Her father only came out to look around the chapel. He would return to his room soon. As long as he didn’t find her, she could make it through today without being beaten. So please….

Anastasia desperately called out to God in her mind. Then something occurred to her. She always lived this way. From morning until night, she clung solely to her faith in God, begging Him to let her endure another day.

But at some point, she began falling asleep while offering prayers of gratitude instead of begging Him to let her endure.

Why? What had God ever given me?

Just as someone began to surface in her mind, a pair of rough, bare feet stopped before Anastasia. They were familiar yet strange. Her father always wore old leather shoes. He said one must show proper respect inside God’s temple… so why….

“There you are.”

“…!”

His voice was harsh, like metal scraping against metal. At the same time, a hand thrust beneath the pew, seized Anastasia by the hair, and dragged her out.

“Ah!”

Startled by the pain of being dragged, Anastasia screamed, but hurriedly clamped her mouth shut. Her father hit her harder whenever she screamed. She needed to hold back her tears and her cries. Only then would it end sooner. As she was dragged across the floor, Anastasia squeezed her eyes shut.

Why am I here? Was I always here?

“You take after your mother, so I was always worried about you.”

“It hurts. It hurts….”

She tried pleading, but the hand gripping and shaking her hair only grew rougher.

“I knew that once you grew up, you’d become a vulgar mistress like your mother, spreading your legs and grinding your hips in front of men.”

They were words she had forgotten for a long time. When she was young, her father used to say those things as he beat her.

“I told you not to speak to men or even touch them! But you couldn’t overcome your lewd nature!”

At her father’s thunderous roar, Anastasia clasped her hands as though in prayer and begged.

“I’m sorry. I was wrong…. I’ll never do it again….”

At that moment, the hand gripping her hair vanished. Anastasia’s body collapsed heavily onto the floor. The wind that always blew through the chapel fell silent, and the cold stone floor transformed into a soft red carpet. The moment she felt warm air and smelled the faint scent of tobacco, Anastasia’s face turned deathly pale. This was….

“Anastasia. Stand there.”

Count Lauderdale’s voice commanded Anastasia.

“And do what you always do.”