The Serpent of Paradise - Chapter 44

“A mistress…?”

Mistress. It was one of the words Anastasia still didn’t understand. She heard it often and knew for certain that it was a very bad word, but she didn’t know exactly what it meant.

“You’re learning many things in the library, but it seems you aren’t learning the things you truly need to know.”

Although Elizabeth’s tone remained calm, her voice was steeped in contempt. Unable to bear the way Elizabeth looked at her, Anastasia couldn’t raise her head.

Elizabeth took a step toward Anastasia. Her gleaming shoe came down on one of the books Anastasia dropped.

“No!”

Anastasia cried out in alarm. The book on the floor was one Mikhail lent her. And Elizabeth stepped on a book. Quite apart from the fact that books were expensive, it was an act Anastasia couldn’t even imagine committing.

As Anastasia learned to read and began reading books, she came to cherish them even more. It was a wondrous experience. When she opened a book, she could see a new world even while sitting inside her room.

Within books, she became an explorer venturing across the distant southern continent and discovered flowers larger than a person. She became Yajinsky the Great, the first emperor of Novgod, and rode across the Central Plains. She became immensely wealthy, boarded a ship, and departed for Ils to conduct trade.

Scholarly texts, books of general knowledge, novels, children’s stories, maps, and more…. Anastasia leaped without hesitation through the doors to the worlds books opened for her. Even when she encountered words she didn’t understand, they were merely small obstacles. They couldn’t stop her.

The journey ended the moment she closed a book, but the person who existed afterward was different from the one who opened it. Books were miracles to Anastasia. And Elizabeth trampled on one.

“Don’t!”

Anastasia shoved away Elizabeth’s foot from the book. The rough force made Elizabeth step backward. Seeing that, Anastasia startled herself.

“Ah….”

Anastasia clutched the book to her chest, sank to the floor, and lowered her head. What did I just do?

She committed an outrageous act. She dared to lay hands on a young lady of the Lauderdale family…. She needed to prostrate herself and beg forgiveness immediately. But before bowing her head, Anastasia thought, Why should I? She couldn’t believe that trampling on a book was right.

“….”

When she examined the book in her arms, she saw that its spine was crushed because it had lain open when it was stepped on. A shoe-shaped footprint remained on the cover as well. She tried brushing it away with her hand, but the mark wouldn’t disappear. It was the book that guided Anastasia to the ancient kingdom of Cleringia the previous night. While reading it, she crossed the vast gulf of thousands of years and witnessed battles in which nations clashed with each other, wagering their very fates.

The lives of so many people were contained within that book. Yet Elizabeth trampled on it so easily.

“This isn’t right.”

Anastasia spoke clearly, without stammering. She knew she was angry. She, who was nothing, dared to feel anger toward a young lady of the Lauderdale family.

“It isn’t right?”

At Anastasia’s words, Elizabeth’s eyes widened and the corners of her mouth rose as though she heard something amusing. Then she suddenly burst into loud laughter.

Anastasia had never seen Elizabeth laugh like this. In fact, she had never even seen her make such a loud sound before. Elizabeth’s utterly unexpected reaction frightened Anastasia. Nothing she said was funny. Then why….

The next moment, Elizabeth swiftly approached Anastasia, stood before her, and leaned down. At the same time, pain shot through Anastasia as her head was violently yanked backward. Elizabeth grabbed Anastasia by the hair and pulled.

“Ugh!”

“Then do you think what you’re doing right now is right?”

“Wh-what I’m doing…?”

What had she done? No matter how hard she thought about it, all she did each day was eat with Mikhail, spend a short while asking him about things she didn’t understand, then sit in her room and read books for the rest of the day. Was that behavior wrong?

“Don’t pretend you don’t know.”

“Ugh!”

Anastasia groaned when Elizabeth viciously pulled her hair again. She pulled so hard that tears sprang to Anastasia’s eyes. Yet Anastasia couldn’t knock away the hand holding her.

Elizabeth’s eyes gleamed chillingly as they met hers. “Did he promise you a future?”

“What… do you mean…?”

“He’ll take me to Sokolov before the summer ends. And we plan to hold our wedding there. But….”

Elizabeth tightened her grip on Anastasia’s hair.

“What sort of future did he promise you?”

At Elizabeth’s question, Anastasia recalled everything Mikhail said to her. Whenever they were together, their conversations never ceased. Most of those conversations consisted of her asking questions and him answering them, but sometimes they also exchanged trivial remarks unrelated to her studies.

They talked about small things, such as their favorite foods and places. They also spoke about memorable or curious things they experienced. Thinking back, they talked about quite a lot. But….

‘…Nothing.’

Not once in all her conversations with Mikhail did they speak about the future. He never brought it up, and neither did Anastasia. Was it because she didn’t know what the future held and wanted to think about it more?

‘No.’

Anastasia nearly shook her head. That wasn’t why she never thought about the future. In truth, Anastasia knew what Mikhail’s future held.

He came to Edenhurst to become Count Lauderdale. Now that the estate and mansion were his, all that remained was for him to return to Sokolov, marry Elizabeth, and formally become the count. He would continue conducting his businesses in Sokolov and live as the greatest merchant in the empire, while the Lauderdale family, who would leave for Sokolov with him, enjoyed happy lives in the larger, more splendid city.

‘…What about me?’

Anastasia knew very well that she wasn’t included in the Lauderdale family. She would remain in Edenhurst. But could she stay here for the rest of her life?

Anastasia’s eyes wavered. Noticing it, Elizabeth gave her usual elegant smile.

“Anastasia. Remember your father’s teachings.”

“…!”

Anastasia’s body jolted violently at the words “your father’s teachings.”

“I’ve nearly reached the limit of how long I can watch you use ignorance as an excuse to run away. If you don’t know, you should start learning now. Isn’t that the proper attitude of someone who studies?”

After saying that, Elizabeth mercilessly flung aside the hair in her grasp. Anastasia’s body tumbled helplessly across the floor. When Elizabeth straightened, her hand was full of red hair. She shook her hand as though she had touched something filthy, and dark red strands rained onto the floor.

“So I hope that, even if it’s only today, you make sure to learn exactly what you are.”

With those final words, Elizabeth left. Her steps were calm, as though nothing happened.

Left alone in the corridor, Anastasia touched her scalp, which still throbbed. The hair Natasha carefully braided that morning was now a mess. As she used her hands to straighten the hair that Elizabeth grabbed, more strands pattered onto the floor. More seemed to have been ripped out than she thought.

Anastasia first gathered the books scattered around her. She carefully smoothed out the creased parts caused by their fall, closed the books, then swept the fallen hair together with her hand and cast it out the window. After that, she went to a nearby wall mirror and tidied her disheveled hair. In no time, both Anastasia and the corridor returned to their original appearance, as though nothing happened.

Anastasia gathered the books and headed toward the library. Although she was already late for their appointed time, her steps were slower than usual. Elizabeth’s words kept circling in her ears.

If you don’t know, you should start learning now.

She was right. If Anastasia didn’t know, she needed to learn.

Before she realized it, she arrived outside the library. Anastasia raised the back of her hand to knock but hesitated, unable to do it. At that moment, the door suddenly flew open.

“Anastasia?”

“…!”

“I was just on my way to look for you because you weren’t coming. Did something happen?”

“No…. I fell by myself on the way here! The books were a mess, so I was late because I had to put them in order.”

The moment she answered, Anastasia felt an aching pain in one side of her chest. She lied. She didn’t fall by herself. Elizabeth pushed her. She did nothing wrong, so why was she lying? Anastasia thought about the reason.

‘I don’t want to tell him.’

During all the time she spent with Mikhail, Anastasia never brought up Elizabeth. She occasionally spoke about the countess or Catherine, but she tried not even to say Elizabeth’s name whenever possible. Why?

“Oh dear. The books are a mess.”

Mikhail took all the books filling Anastasia’s arms at once, then sighed when he saw the footprint on the topmost book.

“Are you all right where you fell? If the books ended up like this, you must have hurt yourself rather badly.”

When Mikhail came closer, apparently intending to examine her for injuries, Anastasia stepped back.

“….”

Mikhail looked at her. Pressing a hand against her chest as her heart pounded with anxiety that he might discover her lie, Anastasia approached the desk. She wanted to change the subject by looking at the books she couldn’t take with her yesterday.

When she reached the desk, she saw large wooden crates and books piled haphazardly around them. Among them, Anastasia’s gaze stopped on a thick book.

“A Comprehensive Dictionary for Children….”

It was the book that showed her what paradise looked like a very long time ago.

***

Her time with Mikhail ended quickly. Igor came looking for Mikhail over a work matter. Mikhail tried to send Igor away, but Anastasia said it worked out well because she wanted to read the book she couldn’t finish the day before. Claiming she would read even more, she needlessly filled her arms with books.

Upon returning to her room, Anastasia placed the dictionary on her desk. Whenever she received a new book, she always sat at her desk and opened it as soon as she returned. Moreover, this was the kind of plainly written dictionary she always thought she needed. She should have opened it immediately, excitedly searched for all the words she didn’t know, and delighted in learning them….

‘Mistress.’

The moment Anastasia thought of the word she wanted to find, she was afraid to open a book for the first time.