Attachment Knight - Chapter 24

“….”

“….”

Shaa—

The water pouring over my head is hot. I stared blankly up at the ornately carved ceiling of the bath as the cascade from the wooden tub drenched me.

“Radem.”

“Yes.”

“Radem.”

“I’m listening.”

Seriously, how can you be like this?

I snapped my head back and shot him a sharp look. Radem paid no mind to my rough glare and poured warm water over my head.

“Tell a maid to do this kind of thing.”

“I’m told Miss Yerenika is out.”

“Then bring someone else. What I want is you and—”

Splash—

A smooth stream of water covered my angry face again. The foam I’d put in my hair washed away in rivulets.

Drips dotted the bathroom floor. Even in the space filled with pale steam, only Radem’s face was clear.

Ah.

Stunned, I slumped back against the tub.

“….”

To sum it up, I got rejected.

“I want to sleep with you. What about you, Radem?”

“I refuse.”

“….”

“Before physical contact, there should be an exchange of hearts. That’s what I was taught. Of course I want you, Millie, but that’s separate.”

“I want you too. How many times do I have to say it.”

Radem stared at me for a moment, then abruptly turned and headed straight to the bath. He suddenly set me down in a tub filled with hot water. That’s how we ended up like this.

“You really think highly of yourself.”

It felt strange. I felt embarrassed and wronged at the same time. Radem is seriously a strange man. I’ve never said something this shameless to anyone before, but aren’t men supposed to fall into place with just a gesture? Watching him quietly wash my hair only annoyed me more.

“Why a bath all of a sudden?”

“When I touched you, your body was cold. Warm up a bit in hot water.”

If I hadn’t ordered him to help me wash, he would’ve thrown me in here and left immediately.

“You said you wanted your memories back. If you try it with me, something might come back.”

“It would be a meaningless act.”

“Meaningless?”

“You said it happened when we were young. It would’ve been affection appropriate to that age. If we truly had a special relationship, that is.”

“That’s what I’m saying. We’re grown now. Doesn’t that mean we can do more?”

“I don’t understand you, Millie.”

I pouted. He clicked his tongue.

“That aside, you don’t even have any feelings for me right now, so what are you suggesting we do? Do you act like this with other men every time?”

Maybe I was imagining it, but his voice sounded a little irritated.

“You just cling to anyone if it seems fun?”

“No. What do you think I am?”

I grumbled, sipping the lemonade placed by the bath. Honestly, it annoyed me that he acted like he knew everything yet didn’t understand me at all.

“I want to kiss you, Radem. I want to sleep with you.”

“Why? Because I’m different from the men you’ve seen? Because you think it’d be interesting?”

“….”

“Do it when you develop a different kind of feeling toward me. I’ll accept anything then.”

Why is he making it so complicated?

“Can’t we just do what we’re drawn to right now?”

“I can’t do that.

I felt so frustrated I wanted to pound my chest.

“If you’re horny, you can have sex. You want to do it with me too. Look in the mirror, your eyes are burning. You want it, don’t you? It’s driving you crazy, isn’t it? Am I wrong?”

When I pressed him, I heard a shallow sigh.

“…You’re wrong.”

“Ugh.”

He lifted me up like a limp strand of seaweed. The thin robe draped over me hung heavy and low. I wanted to stay in his arms and be carried all the way to the bedroom, but of course that didn’t happen.

As he called for a maid to help me change, I shot him a slightly resentful glare and snapped, “And you, Radem, do you even understand your own feelings? You said you don’t. You don’t know if it’s curiosity, pity, or because you feel some kind of kinship that your eyes keep going to me, and yet—”

“At least I don’t intend to do anything to you just for fun.”

He wouldn’t give an inch. I raised both hands in surrender. At the same time, a stubborn streak rose toward the man who treated me like a stone statue. I wanted to knock him down somehow, a feeling mixed evenly with fierce determination and playful mischief.

“Should I bring the nightgown you usually wear, in a dark color?”

The maid who came in place of Yerenika asked as she helped me change.

“No. This one.”

Breaking my rule of wearing warm indoor clothes that covered me properly when I slept, what I chose was a revealing piece of lingerie covered in lace and fur.

“I’ll sleep in this. And tell Radem to sleep in my room tonight.”

***

As expected, Radem looked flustered at my outfit that blatantly exposed bare skin. I lay on the bed with a composed face, like a seductive odalisque of the century.

“Why?”

“….”

“Is your heart fluttering because I’m so pretty?”

“You look cold.”

“I’m not that cold. It actually feels nice, being free. I’ve wanted to dress like this, but never had the chance. It’s not like I showed up like this just to provoke you.”

“What do you mean you never had the chance?”

“This place is off-limits to men, but you can’t relax around the maids either. I’ve been sexually harassed by a woman while I was sleeping before. It was disgusting. She’s not Heracles nursing on Hera’s breast or anything. I woke up because it hurt, and the maid had cut my dress, pulled up my underwear, and was groping my breasts. She said she wanted to touch them because they were so pretty and luscious.”

I grabbed my full breasts in front of him and asked, “Want to touch them too, honey? I’ll give you special permission.”

“…Honey.”

Muttering the sudden term of address, Radem pressed his furrowed brow with his hand.

“Did you punish her?”

“She ran away. I was younger then. I was too shocked to respond properly. I should’ve cut off both of that bitch’s breasts.”

“…You must have been very startled.”

I froze for a moment. Again, that irritatingly gentle gaze and tone made me feel shaken. It made me want to cling to him.

“Whether it’s women or men, they’re all blinded by lust. That kind of thing doesn’t surprise me anymore. Anyway, I could never dream of sleeping in something this revealing, but there happens to be a man who looks at me like I’m a tin can. So from now on, I’ll dress comfortably when I sleep. And don’t forget to stay by my side and watch over me while I sleep. There’s no guarantee something like that won’t happen again.”

I patted the empty space beside the bed.

A questioning gaze followed.

“I like to sleep while holding onto something.”

“….”

There’s really no need to push him this far. But Radem is the strangest man I’ve ever seen, and it stirs a strange urge to conquer him. I know that what I’m asking right now is quite unreasonable from his perspective, and I know that acting on my desires like this, pushing Don Pisano out of my mind, could bring consequences in the future.

He’d probably dislike someone like me, someone who behaves so crudely. But so what? Right now, I’m the one holding his leash.

As if I’d been waiting, I pulled Radem, who lay down beside me reluctantly, tightly into my arms. He stiffened in surprise. But soon, he began to gently pat my shoulder with a careful touch.

It felt good. Like sinking into soft, warm coffee cream, sleep started to overtake me.

At that moment, I felt a very strange certainty. That if I asked, he would grant me anything.

It seems I’m losing my mind more and more when I’m with this man.

It’s strange to feel a certainty with this man that I never felt even with Don.

But just in case.

“Radem… you know.”

I murmured, half-drunk. My words slurred so badly even I couldn’t understand them.

“Can you take me off this island?”

Of course, I didn’t hear an answer. Before I could, my consciousness had already sunk into a sweet sleep….

***

Radem couldn’t move until Millicent fell into a deep sleep. He could only offer his shoulder like a tree, staying perfectly still so that the woman, whose only rest was sleep, could lie comfortably.

He held his breath and looked at the sleeping Millicent. Clinging to him with her arms and legs as if craving warmth, the woman looked fragile, like a beast that had lost its mother. Without her dramatic smile and playful, light attitude, her bare face looked as if it could shatter at any moment, lonely and precarious.

‘Is she having a nightmare?’

As if uncomfortable, she often frowned slightly. Her lips twitched, her cheeks tensed. Remembering that she’d once said she had nightmares, Radem gently smoothed out Millie’s tightly drawn expression with his hand. As if by magic, the tension left her face and her breathing deepened.

At that moment, Millicent burrowed deeper into his arms. Desperately, as if throwing her whole body into him. Whenever Radem tried to pull away even slightly, she instinctively searched for his hand and grabbed it like a reflex.

“Don’t go.”

“….”

“Not yet. Stay… with me….”

Then Radem couldn’t move at all, as if bound in chains. In the end, he had no choice but to spend the night wide awake.

“Can you take me off this island?”

Her hazy, slurred voice lingered in his ears like a hallucination.