Attachment Knight - Chapter 22

I clapped my hands, shouting “Bravo” in excitement.

“I thought you’d only know how to do boring duels since you’re a knight, but you can actually fight.”

“I witnessed this one meeting with Grisha.”

As Radem fully pulled back the hood of the fallen woman, he asked, “Is there anything you want me to check?”

“Evidence. Evidence.”

This time, I’ll get solid proof and send Grisha off along with it as a set. Just as I was humming happily and about to search the assassin’s clothes—

The woman’s eyes snapped open. Her skin, completely drained of color, was as pale as a corpse. Her body trembled violently, and suddenly, with a shriek, she spat something out of her mouth. Radem reflexively pulled me in and grabbed the black bead she had spat out. The bead exploded, scattering black powder like spores.

***

“Are you alright?”

I grabbed Radem’s arm, now covered in black powder, and asked anxiously.

“Does it hurt?”

The powder brushed off easily. There were no visible injuries, but it was too soon to feel relieved.

“That bead was the evidence, and now it exploded like this… Grisha, that bitch. Radem, say something. Can’t you heal it with that amazing ability of yours?”

Radem looked at me, fidgeting, then said bluntly, “I can’t.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“That’s just how it works.”

“So it turns out to be a useless ability.”

Radem’s eyes narrowed slightly. Maybe it was because the only light illuminating the surroundings was a faint strip of moonlight. Even though he frowned, I thought it strangely resembled a smile.

“Yes. This is a problem.”

“….”

“What happens to me now?”

Radem looked at me as if I knew what the bead was.

“Will I die?”

“No way. This is just powder made from burned corpses, imbued with Grisha’s sorcery.”

“That’s unpleasant.”

“It is.”

“Are you hurt anywhere, Millie?”

“No.”

The arm that had been holding me loosened. Regretting the warmth that had slipped away, I stood up and looked around. The assassin’s body had turned to powder and scattered in the wind without a trace. The lingering stench confirmed my suspicion.

“Grisha is an undead sorceress who deals with the dead. That woman must have died a long time ago too.”

Bone fragments crumbled beneath the assassin’s clothes that Radem lifted.

“The graveyard is her playground. She’s probably enjoying herself right now, making puppets out of corpses.”

“To dig up graves and disturb the rest of the dead. It’s utterly disgusting.”

At his cold reply, I responded as if I couldn’t understand.

“Don said they’re all worthless. Clowns, prostitutes, criminals, the unclaimed, the sick, the poor. He said they’re pests that contribute nothing to the world, so there’s no need for them to live. If they’re useful even after death, then they have value.”

“Have you never doubted him?”

“Doubt?”

“You believe and follow everything he says, don’t you, Millie?”

He looked straight at me. I tilted my head, not seeing what the problem was.

“Of course. I live in the world he created for me. I don’t know any world beyond that.”

“Is that why you cling to him? Because you don’t want to be abandoned?”

“….”

I felt confused.

“Is it strange to want to be someone he needs?”

“I understand that better than anyone. That’s probably why I’m concerned.”

“You’re concerned about me?”

“Yes.”

It felt good, but also unsettling. I asked hesitantly, “Did seeing me remind you of your past or something?”

He furrowed his brows. My anxiety grew even stronger. What if he realizes that our so-called special connection is all a lie, that I’m nothing but a ridiculous fraud?

After a long while, he spoke, “It feels like it’s about to come back, but not quite.”

“….”

“I’m not sure, but this place doesn’t feel entirely unfamiliar.”

His steady gaze lingered on me, then he studied the eerie castle and the amusement park beyond, submerged in darkness, for a long time.

“See? I told you, if you stay with me, you might get your memories back.”

I forced an awkward smile. Of course, I wasn’t actually that relaxed. My mind was filled with the thought that I needed to make him take the medicine quickly before he remembered something strange.

“Let’s go back to the room.”

As soon as we returned to the bedroom, I offered Radem warm tea mixed with medicine. Now, he drank whatever I gave him without suspicion.

After setting the empty teacup down on the table, Radem looked at me intently.

“What is it?”

“I’d like to visit the amusement park.”

“….”

“You said we watched fireworks together. That we even rode the carousel. You said I deliberately chose a tall horse because I liked that you held me.”

…Did I really say that?

“So I’d like to go and see for myself. I thought that if I experience the same things, something might come back.”

You don’t have to go that far.

“What if nothing comes back?”

“Even if my head doesn’t remember, my sixth sense, my aura, is likely to feel it instinctively. It’s especially excellent at recognizing identical phenomena. That’s why aura analysts are brought to crime scenes. And more than anything….”

His lingering gaze fell on me.

“It feels a little unfair that you’re the only one who remembers me.”

“….”

“I want to remember you too, Millie. I want to know what you were to me, what we shared.”

I blinked slowly.

He wants to remember me… but there’s no past to remember.

It felt like cold water had been poured over me, snapping me awake, but my mouth spoke on its own.

“Then go and see.”

“May I go at dawn tomorrow?”

“…Yes.”

I answered as if nothing was wrong, but the inside of my cheek was torn up from how much I’d been biting it. There’s no way we have some lingering, sentimental past between us. So what does he mean, go and see?

“You must be tired after today. Please get some rest.”

“Wait.”

At this rate, it felt like I wouldn’t be able to sleep at all tonight. I grabbed him without thinking.

“You didn’t answer me properly earlier. You said you couldn’t just stand by while trash like that tried to make a move on me. That you can’t do that anymore, that you’re worried. What does that mean?”

“I’d like to know as well. That’s why I said I want to remember you.”

Radem’s steady eyes wavered.

“If we truly had a connection in the past, then I can say that what I feel toward you now comes from those special memories.”

He turned and looked straight at me. Unlike someone carefully revealing their feelings, his eyes, fixed on the person in front of him, sank darkly.

“When I was young, I must have liked you, Millie. Isn’t that right?”

His voice carried a strange certainty. As if there was no possibility that he wouldn’t be drawn to me.

As if bewitched, I nodded. “Yes. So… you don’t even have to go that far. You can confirm it right here.”

“How?”

At that moment, what was I thinking? Only two things came to mind. Not getting swept up in his dangerous gamble. And… wanting to feel that intense, overwhelming sensation from earlier once again.

His soft flesh, his warm body heat, that distant gentleness.

To feel and indulge in those things to my heart’s content, until I’m satisfied enough not to regret it, until I’m sick of it and won’t seek it again, and then discard Radem.

I looked up at the ceiling adorned with stars and moons. Following the slowly spinning mobile of planets, my eyes rolled lazily left and right, up and down.

“Then just hold me.”

“….”

Radem hesitated. I could feel the air around him gradually tightening. Lying diagonally on the bed, I gave him a faint smile.

“Just try kissing me. Just hold me. Like we did when we were kids.”

***

Radem’s kiss was soft and careful. As if he didn’t want to startle me, he approached slowly, bent his waist, supported the tip of my chin, and placed a kiss as light as a feather.

To me, who was only used to strong and rough stimulation, it was an extremely unfamiliar and ticklish touch. It tickled so much that I laughed. Then Radem brushed away the strands of my hair stuck to my lips and cheek and kissed me two or three more times.

It tickled so much it felt like the tiny blood vessels in my body might burst. It was insanely ticklish. When I laughed as if I’d fainted, he frowned slightly, displeased, then pinned me down on the bed, climbed over me, held my cheeks, and kept pressing his lips against mine. After several back-and-forth struggles, he lifted his head with a serious expression.

“Millicent.”

“Haha, ha… mm.”

“Do you think this is a joke?”

“No.”

Unlike me, who was laughing happily, his ears down to his neck had turned red. As if he was hot, he unbuttoned two buttons of his shirt, fanned himself, then rubbed his face dry.

“I’m serious.”

“I’m serious too. But your lips tickle too much, I can’t stand it. Try biting harder instead.”

“….”

Radem’s face twisted.