Winter Bud - Side Story 3

Sermione (3)

The blankets were all beautifully embroidered, and the curtains adorning the window were trimmed with elegant lace. An ivory comb, the rose water Thea used, and the same lavender oil Nanna always warmed with her own body heat to smooth Thea’s hair…. A vanity with powder and rouge neatly arranged came into view.

“Butler.”

“It is the master’s order. I have no choice but to follow it.”

Once he said that, any refusal became meaningless. It meant it was not his will. And if this was the will of the Duke of Everhardt, Nanna couldn’t refuse either. But why… she couldn’t understand the reason. Even when she was summoned every night as a bedchamber maid, the Duke had never treated her like this.

Perhaps it was because Thea was there at the time….

‘Then is it different now?’

With a pale face, Nanna lowered her gaze. The butler who showed her the room left on his own. Silence closed in on her.

The Duke returned late in the evening. He said he stayed long at court for business, and as soon as he returned, he called for Nanna. She realized it from the moment he had a guest room prepared and gave it to her as a maid’s quarters, but he truly didn’t care about the eyes of others at all.

Nanna hesitated over whether she should go again in a negligee, then, with a feeling of resignation. No, with a feeling like self-harm, she took off her dress. Then, wearing only a negligee, she arrived in front of the Duke’s bedroom.

“It’s Nanna.”

Hoping her shrunken voice would carry through the firmly closed door, Nanna parted her lips. From beyond the door came the voice, “Come in.” Her heart pounded. The violently beating heart felt like a fish out of water.

“What are you wearing?”

“….”

“I asked why you’re dressed like that.”

The man, wearing nothing but a black velvet robe over his bare body, asked Nanna. Perhaps because of the robe, black as if it swallowed light, he looked especially like a leopard today. Nanna bit her lip at the low question, as if all emotion had been stripped away.

She wanted to ask if this was not what he had called her for. He always wanted her to wander into his bedroom like this, barefoot. She traced the floor with a gloomy gaze. It felt like tears might gather. When she took off her clothes and changed into the negligee as if harming herself, more than anything, Nanna felt humiliation.

She thought it would be better if he used her as before and then discarded her again…. If he spread her legs until he grew sick of her, would the Duke completely lose interest in her?

‘I wish he would just do it quickly.’

Nanna prayed desperately. For this dreadful time to pass quickly…. But the Duke’s indifferent eyes. The green gaze like absinthe only looked at Nanna steadily.

Her legs trembled. Nanna slowly knelt down. The negligee was translucent. The shape of her round breasts, the narrow line of her waist beneath them, and even the curve between her thighs showed through.

As she once did for the Duke, she crawled toward his feet. Then she placed her hands on his knees.

“…Th-this is what you want, isn’t it?”

“….”

“This is all you want from me.”

Nanna tried to steady her trembling voice. The Duke did not answer. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Her throat felt dry with fear, but Nanna did not retreat. She had no intention of running away.

She truly felt as if she were standing at the edge of a cliff. In the way she looked up at him, a defiant, challenging glint flashed. The Duke, resting his chin on his hand, simply looked down at Nanna.

Nanna thought the man was like a blade. Literally so.

There was no other word to describe him. She tried not to let her expression twist as she faced that man, sharp as a honed edge.

“Why aren’t you saying anything?”

“I was just looking at you.”

“…Yes?”

“I wanted to see you.”

He spoke briefly. As if cutting off his breath, he trimmed the murmur short and neat. Nanna blinked blankly. Suddenly, a large hand seized her cheek. She flinched in surprise. She should have asked what he meant, but her lips only opened and closed like a fish.

“Your Grace.”

“What should I do to become a man to you?”

“….”

“Nanna.”

He stood, then pulled Nanna, who was kneeling, up to her feet. Her eyelashes trembled. It was the first time he had asked something so directly, and she didn’t know what to say. Even so… he was Thea’s father.

That was a fact that would never change.

“Why… are you so cruel to me?”

“And you, why do you not give me even the slightest chance?”

“Y-Your Grace is Lady Thea’s father.”

“So?”

“If you think of Lady Thea….”

“Nanna.”

He called her in a low voice. Nanna pressed her lips tightly together. She was afraid, and she was sad. But the Duke’s face remained entirely indifferent. He seemed unaware of the emotions Nanna felt. Or perhaps… he simply did not sympathize.

Tears slid down her cheeks.

“I love you.”

“….”

“To the point I want to break you because you overwhelm me.”

It was an unexpected threat. Nanna raised her head and met eyes like blue flames. The Duke’s gaze burned fiercely, like green fire. She trembled in small shivers, holding her breath. His large hands held her small face.

“If I were a young man like the Emperor, would you look at me as a man?”

“Your Grace.”

“Or if I did not have Thea, would I have been able to become a man to you?”

“You shouldn’t say such things….”

“Then what should I do?”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Then!”

His shout rang in her ears. His face was tight with frustration. Nanna shrank back in fear. She only wanted to remain still. To her, the Duke was only Thea’s father. No… she wanted to see him only that way. That was the truth as well.

That was why she’d felt ashamed serving him in his bed. The father of the woman she cherished like a sister had turned her into a woman for himself. She trembled and shook her head. Now, now… she couldn’t understand why he was trying to bind her again.

Since the child died. No… since he killed the child, Nanna decided she would never hold any feelings for the Duke again. The Duke must have felt ashamed of his actions and ordered the abortion because of that. And yet now… had he even forgotten that shame?

“When you killed my child….”

“….”

“I thought you did it out of shame.”

“You….”

“To a woman young enough to be your daughter. There is nothing more disgraceful than seeing a child from your daughter’s maid. You care about your reputation, after all.”

Nanna sniffled, forgetting even her fear. The Duke looked down at her without any distortion in his expression. His eyes were sharp, as if they could strangle her, yet at the same time, the hands holding her tear-wet cheeks were incomparably gentle.

Nanna lifted the gaze she had kept fixed on his feet and, with difficulty, parted her lips.

“Then why are you trying to keep me by your side again? Now….”

“Because I don’t want to lose you.”

“….”

“Because I know how terrible the pain and fear of losing you is.”

She couldn’t understand what he was saying. Nanna stared at him blankly. He parted his tightly closed lips.

“Let’s return to Aldermort.”

“Master.”

“To a place where the Emperor and Thea do not exist. To a place where only the two of us can exist.”

A chill ran through her. He was serious. He was not a man who joked, so every word that left his lips must be the truth. Nanna trembled faintly, then staggered. The strength drained from her legs. He pressed his lips to the corner of her eye, where she had forgotten even to blink.

The soft skin and his warm breath tickled unbearably. Swaying, Nanna’s knees finally touched the floor. The Duke lowered himself to match her. Nanna saw the strange sight of his knees touching the ground. Unless it was before the Emperor, he never knelt.

Even when he did, he would kneel upright on one knee. So even when the Duke took a reverent posture, he never seemed beneath the Emperor. At least in Nanna’s eyes, the Duke, the Emperor’s father-in-law, stood equal if not equal, never lesser in presence.

And yet, to kneel on both knees before nothing more than a maid. Before a woman who was merely his daughter’s servant…. Had he eaten something strange, or been struck on the head? Otherwise, how could this be happening?