The Whipping Maid of House Calley - Chapter 134

“Whether it’s a physical illness or a mental one, you’re the physician, so treat it.”

“Even if you are the Young Count, it’s difficult if you speak as if you’re simply leaving it all to me. I don’t think there’s any treatment I can provide at my level. A mental illness isn’t my field.”

As Adriana bowed and tried to leave, Cedric asked in a slightly softened tone, “What makes you think it’s a mental illness?”

“You should know well yourself, Young Count. According to Molly, she couldn’t sit still for even a moment before, but now she has no motivation at all. She used to be bright and positive, but now she’s cynical about everything. She even acts as if it’s bothersome to speak to me as a physician. No, not just speaking, she even finds making eye contact bothersome.”

“Ha….”

Cedric covered his face and rubbed it dry.

Seeing the emotions revealed by a man who usually acted as if not a drop of blood would come out even if he were stabbed, Adriana was flustered.

In truth, Adriana, who had wanted to quickly finish the matter because she disliked the pressure the Young Count was putting on her over a mere maid named Sheila, felt a pang of guilt.

Adriana added some advice in a gentler tone.

“Well, in truth, there’s nothing better than the warm attention of those around them when it comes to treating a mental illness. For now, please pay attention to the patient’s diet, and if her condition worsens significantly, call me again.”

At her words, Cedric looked deep in thought.

Reading the situation, Adriana quietly left Cedric’s room.

‘Warm attention….’

Cedric silently mulled over Adriana’s words.

Even without going as far as ‘warm,’ if it was attention at all, Sheila would clearly reject it.

That night, Cedric went to Sheila’s room.

It was late at night, when she would likely be asleep.

Cedric first placed a hand on her forehead, checking whether she had a fever and whether her breathing was steady.

Just as the physician said there was nothing wrong with her body, Sheila was sleeping peacefully.

Then again, if she hadn’t been asleep like this, she would have shouted at him to leave again.

Cedric let out a low breath. Various emotions surged within him.

“I was wrong, Sheila. I was wrong.”

After a long while, the first words that left Cedric’s mouth were an apology for what happened the night before.

“I shouldn’t have taken you like that. There’s no excuse.”

Cedric fell silent again.

When it came to Sheila, Cedric often lost his reason. And in the end, he couldn’t suppress his momentary emotions, only to regret it like this.

If Sheila ever chose to face him again, he would have to apologize properly.

Doing this in front of a woman who was asleep was nothing more than practice.

He still acted arrogantly in front of others, and he wasn’t used to lowering himself like this.

It was a long-standing habit. It started when he was first confined to the attic….

He realized at a very young age that if he showed weakness to others, he would be devoured.

Cedric carried himself more nobly and perfectly so Bernard wouldn’t pick a fight with him, and he fulfilled his duties even more thoroughly.

And the more he did so, Solomon cherished Cedric even more, saying he had more than enough qualities to be the future count.

Bernard’s abuse continued for about a year before it stopped.

It might have been because Cedric, who had overcome his fear of the attic, no longer cried, or because, at seventeen or eighteen, and with Solomon’s full support, he was no longer easy to control with petty tricks.

From that point on, Bernard showed signs of fearing Cedric. Afraid that Cedric might reveal what happened in the past to Solomon, he even began to treat him well.

His grandfather passed away, and until then, Cedric kept the fact that he had been locked in the attic a secret.

In the meantime, as his relationship with Cedric became firmly set as it was, Bernard could no longer treat Cedric carelessly.

But Cedric knew.

That Bernard’s inferiority complex and jealousy were merely hidden beneath the surface, not gone.

That the moment he showed weakness or made a mistake, Bernard would be the first to sink his teeth into his throat.

And Cedric had two younger brothers who could replace him as heir.

Growing up in such a harsh environment, Cedric’s personality grew colder and colder.

If he had grown up with a softer nature, would it have been easier to give her affection?

“No matter how much you hate it, I’ll keep coming to see you like this. Because this is all I can do. You might be able to leave me and walk away, but I can’t let you go. So get up already. Who knows? If you recover and still want to leave me, I might let you go without a fight.”

Cedric continued talking to himself.

Cedric still blamed himself for hesitating and allowing Sheila to run into Duker. He didn’t want to let something like that happen again. So Cedric decided he would hesitate no longer. The only thing he could do for her now was to move straight forward.

At the same time, he knew.

That if she truly wanted to leave him this time, he would have to let her go.

Something more frightening than not being able to have her had appeared. It was being hated by her.

So this was a vow to himself. A resolve he was forcing onto himself, because he still wasn’t ready to let Sheila go.

It was a determination he needed to hold onto until she stood back up again.

***

“What did she do today?” Cedric asked Molly after returning from an outing. He was still busy dealing with various matters.

“It wasn’t much different from yesterday. She asked for her meal to be brought up and ate alone, and in the afternoon we cleaned the corridor together. Adriana said resting is important, but doing nothing at all isn’t good for Sheila either. And around sunset, she took a short walk before falling asleep. When I suggested going out during the day, she said she didn’t want to. It seems she’s avoiding seeing people.”

“I see. Good work.”

“Yes, Young Count.”

After finishing her report, Molly greeted Cedric and left the room.

The Cedric Molly had seen over the past few days was somewhat different from what she expected.

Despite his cold impression, he was quite gentle. Even though she was only doing her job, he always thanked her for her effort, and he listened attentively even to trivial things. Of course, that might be because it was about Sheila, but Molly didn’t mind.

Rather than worrying that he might have approached Sheila with light feelings, she felt relieved, thinking he genuinely cared for and considered her.

But Sheila still rejected him.

“Should we clean the Young Count’s room too while we’re at it?”

“Why?”

“Huh…?”

“Did he tell you to? Will he pay you if you let me into his room?”

“What are you saying…! It’s not like that at all!”

“….”

“Fine! I’ll clean the Young Count’s room myself, so don’t worry about it.”

The normally gentle Sheila would show irritable reactions or even hostility whenever the Young Count was mentioned.

So it was unthinkable for Cedric to approach her side.

He always visited her room after she had fallen asleep.

Sure enough, as Molly went down the stairs, she heard the sound of Cedric’s door opening and closing.

Hearing the Young Count’s footsteps heading toward the attic, Molly went down the rest of the stairs.

***

Haa…, Cedric let out a low sigh.

For the past few days, he was always like this whenever he sat in front of Sheila.

Will the day ever come when you look at me again?

He couldn’t even remember the last time Sheila’s blue eyes properly looked at him.

Just imagining that she would never look at him again made it hard to breathe.

“…I’ll do my best.”

“Good morning, Young Count. The sunlight is really dazzling.”

“Th-this…, this is too much!”

“Why are you doing this to me…?”

Right. Why did I treat you so harshly when you were living so diligently?

Cedric wanted to see her joking around in front of him again. Even seeing her argue that this made no sense would be fine.

The thought that Sheila might remain broken like this forever made his body stiffen with fear.

“I ruined you. I’m sorry.”

Cedric forced out the words of apology with difficulty. His apologies continued day after day.

Even if it was every day, he had never once spoken them lightly.

Each time, it was a heavy apology, as difficult as the weight of his fault.

“Please get up, Sheila. You need to regain your strength now.”

If he had known she would be unable to get up like this, he should have ended everything earlier.

He shouldn’t have been so greedy.

“It’s fine even if you don’t look at me like before. Just get up.”

Cedric was practically pleading.

If Sheila could get back up and return to how she used to be, it felt like he could do anything.

“If you get up, I’ll grant you anything you want. Even if you leave me…, I won’t stop you,” Cedric said.

At that moment, Sheila, who seemed to be asleep, opened her eyes and asked, “Those words, are they really true?”