Maylily - Chapter 91

The autumn streets, where the maple leaves had begun to turn red, glittered gorgeously beneath the streetlights. The carriage raced over them, heading toward the Cryer district.

A bright light settled over Maylily’s profile as she looked out the window, but it didn’t brighten her shadow even a little. Hugh, who’d been quietly watching that sight, gently took hold of the slender hands folded neatly on her lap.

“Shall we go to Lurollei next weekend?”

At the impulsive suggestion, Maylily turned back with widened eyes.

“Lurollei? The social season isn’t over yet…. Is it alright for you to leave?”

“Most of the important events are already wrapped up. We can go see the sea, stroll around town. Let’s go eat sherbet too. Or is there somewhere else you want to go?”

Maylily slowly rolled her eyes in thought, then shook her head. “No. Lurollei sounds good. I’ll prepare things so we can leave within a day or two after you return.”

“Alright.”

The hand that softly patted her head as if praising her cupped her cheek. Maylily gently layered her own hand over it and faintly curved her lips. She was clearly smiling, yet her water-colored eyes were dry, devoid of a single emotion.

It was a dinner Hugh had arranged in hopes of lifting Maylily’s spirits before leaving for Rivern. Yet even while seated in the suite of the Skaard Hotel, with Aberque’s night view and luxurious dishes laid out before her, her eyes didn’t shine even once.

“Wow…. It feels like the whole city has become one enormous stage.”

The sparkle in those blue eyes etched into Hugh’s memory, and that childlike, excited voice, felt like scenes from a dream.

It wasn’t something limited to just tonight. Ever since the article about Hugh’s engagement party had come out, Maylily had looked like a broken doll. Even in moments when she met his eyes, talked, and smiled, she seemed as if she’d lost her soul. Just like now.

Once again, a feeling of suffocation, as if his chest might burst, and a hollowness, as if he’d lost something, surged up. That emotion whose identity he still hadn’t uncovered, even after more than a week of pondering.

Hugh swallowed a heavy sigh and turned his gaze back to the window. Before he knew it, the carriage arriving in front of Maylily’s house was slowing down.

The corridor they entered through the front door was softly filled with a fresh fragrance. Walking through it, they reached a bedroom overflowing with white lily-of-the-valley. Bouquets, baskets, and single stems decorated every corner as if embroidering the room.

Maylily, who stepped into the bedroom a pace ahead of Hugh, went blank at the sight.

“Ah….”

A sound closer to a sigh than admiration melted into the lily-of-the-valley scent. Soon, when Maylily turned her head toward Hugh, her face wore a smile she’d consciously put on.

“Thank you, Count. For showing me this beautiful sight again…. I’m so, so happy.”

Even as she finished speaking in a voice that sounded choked, Maylily’s eyes remained dim, like a clouded sky. Over them, the image of a face that once shone brighter than the sun overlapped.

“So…. so beautiful. Thank you so much.”

The night when pure emotions and burning passion had existed between them despite Hugh’s deception. He’d wanted to see the Maylily who’d accepted him with joy untainted by any impurity, but it seemed this method was wrong too.

It had been far too long since he’d last felt Maylily fully and completely.

Three days ago, at the dinner table where they’d sat facing each other, Maylily had talked a little more than usual and smiled a little more. Her slightly lighter gloom than the day before had stirred a faint sense of expectation.

That night, Hugh laid Maylily beneath him for the first time in two weeks. Compared to last summer, when she’d been so thin her ribs showed through her skin, her body had put on weight and was irresistibly luscious. He caressed that smooth, beautiful body gently but persistently, with deep affection and care.

And when he finally entered Maylily, what Hugh faced was a face staring at the ceiling with unfocused eyes. Even though heat had spread and tinted her cheeks red, the resignation that spread across her expression made her look like a pale wax doll.

Up until that moment, Maylily hadn’t shown even once that she wanted to refuse.

But Hugh couldn’t shake the feeling that he was violating her. It was a disgust he hadn’t felt even when he’d pushed her and taken her at the villa in rainy Prowden.

Maylily looked so precarious she seemed like she’d shatter into pieces if he gripped her with even a little force. A cold impatience brushed his chest, the thought that if he satisfied his desire all the way to the end, she might be ruined forever.

Hugh stopped and withdrew. Then he held Maylily, who blinked quietly as if gauging his intention, and fell asleep.

Tonight, if he tried to hold Maylily, he’d reach that same ending again. Hugh stared fixedly at those dark pupils, as if a thick curtain had been drawn over them.

“I couldn’t prepare anything. I’m sorry.”

Maylily suddenly apologized, misunderstanding the meaning of his gaze.

“Do I still have to tell you that you’re enough for me?”

Hugh held Maylily’s shoulders with a faint smile. Amid the heavy floral scent, the faint smell of her skin mingled in.

At the same time, that stifling, hollow emotion lifted its head again. It suddenly occurred to him that this might not be his emotion, but Maylily’s.

“I’ll try to get better. So please wait just a little, Count.”

If your effort is to endure this suffocating emotion alone behind eyes where the light has faded….

Rather than forcing you to keep making an effort with no idea how long it will last, Hugh could give Maylily something clearly better.

He was someone who got what he wanted no matter what, and what he could give her couldn’t possibly be happiness this small and shabby. It couldn’t be.

Maylily’s smile was the brightest thing Hugh had ever had, and Hugh wanted to see it for a long time. Nothing could replace the rapture it gave him.

When his thoughts reached that point, he saw the answer to the problem that hadn’t been solved for so long.

At last, what he needed to do became clear. It was an irrational decision that didn’t suit him, yet in another sense, it felt utterly natural.

Maylily had already left exception after exception in Hugh’s world.

Hugh loosened his arms. The blue eyes that held Maylily, quietly nestled in his embrace, shone with a clarity and firm conviction stronger than ever.

“I’ll be right back. Wait for me.”

***

The Count of Everscourt left in the middle of the night, after saying to wait. That was the end of him.

Thinking of the past two seasons they’d shared, it was such a hollow ending it was hard to believe, but it was rather fortunate. Thanks to that, she could be calm.

Maylily, who’d been sitting blankly on the bed scattered with lily-of-the-valley, soon brushed herself off and stood up. If she was going to leave at dawn, she had to move busily all night.

First, she organized the remaining luggage. For swift, simple movement, she decided to pack her bag lightly, as if going on a trip. She left all the dresses she’d received from the Count of Everscourt in the wardrobe and only packed a few of her original outfits.

Next, Maylily came out to the sitting room and put the lace cover on the sofa backrest and the small doll on top of the mantelpiece into her bag. They were gifts she’d received from her aunt and Daisy, respectively, when she came to Roden.

She decided to leave behind most of her books and sheet music, since they weren’t things she needed immediately and she could buy them again. She only packed one Cartian conversation book into her bag.

After finishing packing, she went into the bathroom and cut her hair, which came down to her waist, to half its length. Then, on top of the wig cap she wore so her hair wouldn’t spill out, she put on a brown wig.

Bright-colored hair stood out more, so to move while avoiding people’s attention, it would be better to wear a wig. And to hide her identity, too.

She wore clothes she’d bought newly a few days ago. It was an ordinary dress that wasn’t flashy but followed current fashion appropriately. She divided up the wages she’d saved while being sponsored by the Count and tucked the money little by little between the layers of her clothes and into her inner pocket.

After finishing getting ready, Maylily opened the vanity drawer and took out the sapphire necklace the Count had gifted her, along with three letters. Two were letters she’d written to Greta and her aunt, and the remaining one was what she’d received from Michele.

“There isn’t much time, so it’ll be faster for you to take it than to send it by mail. I was going to send a telegram, but that’s too expensive. If you show this to my family, they’ll definitely take you in.”

When she recalled Michele’s words, that letter felt as reassuring as if it were worth a fortune.

After finishing all preparations, Maylily lastly left a short letter for the Count of Everscourt and left the bedroom filled with the scent of lily-of-the-valley. She pushed the key that locked the front door through the gap beneath it, then quietly stepped down the stairs.

After coming out of the building at last, Maylily slipped the two letters into the mailbox in front of the house, then got into a hired carriage. The road heading toward a city located to the north of Roden. Beyond the carriage window, the horizon looked pale.

A new day was dawning.