Maylily - Chapter 88

“Judging by the date of your last menstrual period, you’re about eight weeks along.”

It was the doctor’s conclusion after finishing the examination. Even though the examination room was bright with sunlight coming in through the window, Maylily’s vision went dark.

She’d hoped with all her heart that it wouldn’t be.

The slender thread of hope she’d been desperately clinging to since yesterday snapped. The doctor’s added words, congratulating her on the pregnancy, felt like a death sentence.

“In the early stages, there’s a risk of miscarriage, so until you reach a stable period, please refrain from strenuous activities….”

The doctor explained the precautions for early pregnancy in detail. But none of it reached Maylily’s ears.

At this rate, I can’t return to the stage.

That desperate thought was the only thing circling in her head.

Before leaving the examination room, she was prescribed medicine to ease the morning sickness. Maylily stared blankly at the brown medicine bottle the doctor handed her.

What she needed right now was an abortion pill. She couldn’t bring herself to voice the thought that came to mind. Even having that thought, just for a moment, filled her with a heavy sense of guilt.

With a dazed face, Maylily left the hospital and moved her weak steps forward.

It had only been a few days since she’d stood onstage as the lead, feeling the heat and cheers of the audience wash over her body and send shivers through her. That life could change so completely in an instant. It was so unreal that tears wouldn’t even come.

Yet as if to remind her that this was indeed Maylily’s reality, the city bustled with its usual vitality. Her unfocused blue eyes, slowly taking in the surrounding scenery, stopped on a newspaper displayed at a street stand.

High society gathers to celebrate the engagement of the Count of Everscourt and the young lady of Cheshire

“Ah….”

A small sigh escaped Maylily’s lips when she discovered the article about the Count of Everscourt’s engagement party. It had been yesterday. She’d forgotten, her mind completely overtaken by the sudden misfortune that had struck without warning.

After paying, Maylily picked up the newspaper and gazed quietly at the Count in the photograph printed in the article. The man smiling beside Vivian Cheshire looked as splendid and handsome as he had at their first meeting.

His life, his future, everything would remain unchanged. The only things this relationship had destroyed were Maylily’s.

Her present and her future, and even her dreams.

Swallowing the surge of emotion, Maylily tucked the newspaper into her bag and started walking again. She took a hired carriage and got off near her home, but instead of going back, she wandered aimlessly along the Fez River. She didn’t want to return home while Mrs. Keaton was still at work.

“Have your meal at home. I’ll make lamb stew, the one you like, miss.”

Mrs. Keaton had said warmly to Maylily as she left the house that morning after skipping breakfast due to a lack of appetite. Everything the excellent cook made was delicious, but the lamb stew was by far the best.

But right now, just thinking about the smell made her stomach churn. If she retched in front of food, the woman who’d given birth to four children would surely notice.

Then it would only be a matter of time before the pregnancy was conveyed to the Count through David. She didn’t want something like that to happen before she’d even had time to think about her and the child’s future.

The autumn wind, which had deepened without her realizing it, was chilly. Pulling her thin scarf tighter around her neck as she walked, Maylily sat down on a bench by the roadside. Fatigue washed over her even after such a short walk.

On the green lawn below the embankment, young children were clustered together, playing in the dirt with small shovels. Listening to their innocent laughter carried on the wind, Maylily blankly stared down at the newspaper she’d taken out of her bag, then tilted her head back and gently closed her eyes. She wished the warm sunlight settling on her eyelids would dry all the tears she’d pressed down beneath them.

***

The carriage carrying Hugh entered the bridge that crossed from Aberque into Cryer.

Had it been a week? Hugh’s eyes, looking in the direction across the river where Maylily’s house was, shone clearly as the rippling reflections glittered.

It was the height of the autumn social season, and events were overflowing, and on top of that, he’d held the engagement party, so he’d spent a busy week. Aside from the hunting competition hosted by the imperial family in early October, all the major events were over, so he finally had some breathing room.

The last time he saw Maylily was four days ago, at the opera house. He decided to take the stage away from her and, the next day, conveyed that intent to Director Fritz through David. And the director reported back that he’d followed the instruction within a day. It was a clean finish.

After returning from Prowden to Roden, Maylily stayed bound up in the opera company’s work the whole time. Her routine of going in early in the morning and leaving late at night continued without regard for weekdays or weekends.

Not being able to see her when he wanted, not being able to hold her, was a fairly irritating thing. But he no longer had to endure that irritation. With nowhere to go, Maylily would be waiting meekly for him at the house in Cryer.

Just as Hugh, soaked in the satisfaction of owning Maylily more completely than ever, looked out the window and gave a faint smile, he caught sight of a blonde woman sitting on a bench on the riverside walking path.

Certain it was Maylily, Hugh immediately had the carriage stop and stepped down onto the road. With each unhurried step toward the bench, his well-polished black shoes glinted.

Hugh quietly looked at the woman’s profile, the delicate lines revealed beneath her bangs fluttering in the cold river wind. She was Maylily, his beautiful flower.

Standing quietly behind the bench, Hugh tilted his head and cast a shadow with his gloved hand over Maylily’s forehead as she leaned back with her eyes closed. Then, beneath her eyelids that slowly lifted, clear eyes appeared and calmly reflected him.

Even at an accidental encounter, the woman’s face showed not the slightest sign of surprise. It was parched, as if all her emotions had been bleached away.

“….”

With his gloved hand, Hugh silently cupped her gaunt cheek. As Maylily stared blankly up at him with lifeless eyes, a single tear slid down along the line of her eyes.

As if measuring the meaning of that tear, Hugh looked down quietly, then moved and stood in front of the bench. The engagement party photo in the newspaper placed beside Maylily caught his eye. After moving it aside, he sat down and took out a handkerchief to wipe the corner of her eye.

“It’s okay, Maylily. Nothing’s changing.”

The man who had once been Maylily’s salvation, then her owner, and now her misfortune spoke.

Behind the man who again deceived her and faced Maylily with pride and not even a shred of guilt, memories of the spring days they’d walked this road together brushed past.

It was even sadder because that time of deception, dyed in the scent of acacia, still shone beautifully somewhere in her heart. Tears fell again from her reddened eyes. The touch that comforted Maylily’s sorrow was, as always, incomparably gentle.

It was fleeting tenderness with no respect and no consideration. Yet it always touched the weakest corner of her heart. When she was alone, she swallowed her tears bravely, but in front of this man, she ended up crumbling.

“Sob….”

Sorrow and resentment she could no longer hold back burst out between her lips. The Count silently held Maylily, who cried her eyes out like a child. Soaking his arms with her tears, Maylily thought,

I have to leave this embrace that makes me collapse every time.

That’s the way I can live as my whole self.

The Count of Everscourt promised to sponsor Maylily, then trampled her dream. He broke the deal first, so Maylily had no reason to remain his mistress anymore.

And if he found out there was a child in this situation, he’d try to control even the child as he pleased. He might take the child hostage and treat Maylily like his property forever.

It was horrible.

This man’s arrogance and deception, his tenderness and affection, all of it.

For the price of holding in her heart a man she couldn’t dare handle, and being swept along by him, Maylily stepped onto the path in life she’d worked so hard to avoid.

As much as she resented the man who’d dropped her into this abyss, her self-reproach toward herself was just as great. To gain the strength to stand again, she wanted to empty out all of these negative feelings.

So I won’t resent you, and I won’t forgive you either. I’ll simply carve you out of my life.

To do that, she had to thoroughly hide her plan until the perfect opportunity came. Just like the Count had done to her.

With that firm resolve engraved in her, Maylily wiped her tears and pulled away from the Count’s embrace. Then, toward the man sending her a worried look, she consciously lifted the corners of her lips.

“I’ll try to get better. So please wait just a little, Count.”