I Need the True Ending to Graduate - Chapter 59

As Ruad looked at me with a sly smile, his red eyes glimmered with a sensual light.

His low voice tickled my ear like a whisper of breath against my skin. And at that moment, the memories of rolling around in bed with him came flooding back all at once.

The feel of Ruad’s lips kissing the tops of my feet, his tongue sucking on my toes, and those large hands holding me tightly.

The blunt rod that kept pressing against my backside.

The ceaseless thrusting that left me breathless, the overwhelming pleasure that pushed me beyond my limits.

They were memories far too inappropriate to recall in such a quiet, proper library, yet they kept pouring into my mind.

Even though I wasn’t doing anything wrong, it somehow felt like I was committing an indecent act in a public place.

What was stranger was that it didn’t feel unpleasant at all. …If anything, I liked it.

“Hm? Lucy?”

When I didn’t answer, my face flushed bright red, Ruad leaned closer like a sly fox, pressing his body lightly against mine. With a soft laugh, he urged me to reply.

I hesitated for a moment.

Ruad’s affection level right now was….

[Ruad Rochef: Affection 30%]

Thirty percent.

That meant that even after I (or more accurately, Lucia Even) had fallen into despair upon discovering that Karl Evenhart had stolen her thesis, after being harassed by some thug-like academy student, and after being consoled by Ruad in a very deep, physical way that helped me recover my sanity, we had slept together two more times after that.

The effects of his ‘comfort’ were remarkable. After being consoled by him about three times, the rage and resentment I had felt toward Karl Evenhart had completely faded, and the cruel, humiliating words that once stabbed into me like knives felt like distant memories from a past life.

Thanks to that, I could focus on preparing for my presentation, I regained my energy, and I was able to move on without drowning in negativity.

That part was great.

But there was a problem.

‘I’m exhausted…!’

Ruad’s sexual preference for pleasuring his partner was not a bad thing in itself.

At first, it had been awkward, but once I got used to it, I found it surprisingly enjoyable, and it turned out that kind of play suited me better than I’d expected.

So even when Ruad sucked on my toes, or buried his face between my legs to drink my fluids like a spring, I didn’t mind. It was embarrassing, sure, but still exciting.

The problem was that it went on far, far too long.

‘Every time we do it, it feels like it lasts the whole day. Aside from eating and bathing, it’s nonstop.’

Worse still, the one exhausting me never actually penetrated or came, meaning there were no breaks for me in between.

I was the only one being wrung dry in Ruad’s hands, like laundry being squeezed for its last drop of water.

As a result, after each round, I was completely drained, so much that getting out of bed the next day was almost impossible. It took a full day just to recover my strength.

And even when his fingers weren’t inside me, I could still feel them, as if they were.

‘If we do it tonight, I’ll definitely collapse halfway through.’

I’d already spent an exhausting week fighting with that damn typewriter, and if I ended up rolling around in bed with Ruad tonight in this worn-out state, I’d surely faint halfway through.

There was only a month left before the academic conference presentation, and I still had several things to take care of before then, so I couldn’t afford to waste my time or energy.

But there was an even bigger issue….

‘I got called by Evan Bell a few days ago and did it once.’

The problem was that it hadn’t been long since I’d been with Evan Bell.

Ruad was sharp enough to notice even the slightest swelling in my lower body. The moment I took off my skirt, it would practically announce to him who I’d slept with.

Of course, he had once told me he wouldn’t ask about my relationship with Evan Bell, and I believed him. Ruad truly was devoted to me.

But I was the one who couldn’t stand the guilt.

‘The feeling of getting caught cheating on your boyfriend and then being forgiven for it… that’s something I never want to experience again.’

This was a romance simulation game with three capture targets, and it demanded that all three affection meters reach 100%.

So sleeping with multiple men was technically unavoidable. But once I actually got caught by one of them, it didn’t feel good at all.

I felt like the worst kind of trash. Filthy, uncomfortable, guilty, and sorry.

If Ruad had just gotten angry, condemned me, or even shown jealousy, I might have felt a little better. But instead, he believed me unconditionally, forgave me, and covered for me.

That was what made me unbearably uncomfortable.

So I had made a personal rule for myself: to wait until all traces of Evan Bell had faded before meeting Ruad again.

And according to that rule, it wasn’t the right time yet to receive Ruad’s ‘comfort.’

Regretfully, I turned him down.

“I’m sorry, Ruad. I’ve been exhausted this week from preparing for the presentation, so I don’t think I can do it today. Comfort me next time.”

“Oh, really? Got it, Lucy. Go back to the dorm and get some good rest today.”

Ruad looked disappointed at first, but he quickly returned to his usual bright smile.

Then he added softly, “If you ever need my help, just say so. I’ll always be on your side.”

“Thanks for saying that. I’ll let you know if something comes up.”

There was something faintly suggestive in Ruad’s gaze, a hidden meaning beneath the surface, but I responded with a calm, friendly smile as if I hadn’t noticed.

Then I smoothly changed the subject.

“Now that I think about it, lunch hour’s already over. Did you eat?”

“No, not yet. I was planning to go back to the dorm after finishing up here. I only had one morning class today.”

“Oh, I see.”

“What about you? Did you eat yet? Or with your professor?”

When Ruad casually brought up something that could’ve caused a huge misunderstanding, I almost choked and shook my head frantically.

“I already ate at the dorm. And why would I eat with my professor?”

Just sitting across from Jeran Ennessy in the lab drinking tea was bad enough. The mere thought of sitting across from him eating a plate of pasta was terrifying. I wouldn’t even know whether the noodles were going into my mouth or my nose.

And besides, Jeran Ennessy’s affection level was still at 0%. That meant we weren’t nearly close enough to have a friendly meal together.

Not that affection levels mattered much anymore.

Flustered and exasperated, I replied, and Ruad only nodded as though it had been a casual question.

“Good. That’s a relief.”

It felt like he already knew something and had just been testing me. I was about to question him about it when the copier finally finished.

Ruad quickly gathered the copies and handed them to me before I could say anything.

“Here, all done. Take your copies.”

“…Thanks for that.”

In the end, I missed my chance to ask and took the papers from him with a sigh. The warm sheets of freshly copied paper radiated gentle heat against my hands.

“You should probably head to the lab now, right? You’ll be late if you don’t.”

“I was just about to. See you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, Lucy. See you tomorrow. I’ll be waiting at the library.”

I left the library, practically pushed out by Ruad’s cheerful tone.

‘It feels like he knew I was going to ask and deliberately sent me away before I could.’

Strangely enough, though, his evasiveness didn’t annoy me.

Maybe it was because I knew it was just another way of protecting me.

‘Funny how just learning about Ruad’s past can change how I see him so completely.’

Thinking how strange that was, I made my way toward Jeran Ennessy’s lab.

***

Showing someone what you’ve written was one of the most nerve-racking things in the world.

And if that something happened to be my academic conference presentation (still unfinished), and the person reading it was none other than my advisor—a professor who had achieved that title at the age of twenty-six—it was even worse.

At that moment, I was enduring time with the faint desire to die.

The silence was so sharp it felt like standing naked under a shower of needles.

Unlike the days when we sat across a large rectangular table, chatting lightly, today I had to stand properly before Jeran Ennessy’s desk, like a secretary reporting to her boss.

And that wasn’t the end of my misery.

With every turn of a page, I felt as though my life span was being cut short by ten years. By the time Jeran Ennessy finished reading, I was certain I’d no longer belong to this world.

‘Ah, I want to die….’

With hopeless eyes, I counted the wood grain patterns on his desk.

Because my knowledge of magic was far inferior to Lucia’s, I crammed desperately to keep that fact from being discovered and to graduate from this place, to achieve a ‘real’ graduation. So it was inevitable that I wouldn’t hear anything good.

No matter how hard I had prepared, I knew I was going to be torn apart like grain in a thresher, told to fix this and revise that.

Then, after being scolded, whether it was criticism or outright condemnation, I’d return to the dorm with my soul tattered like an old rag and fix it all over again.

It was a future as unchanging as a drama with a predetermined ending.

‘If I’m going to get scolded anyway, I wish it’d just happen quickly.’

Right now, just watching Jeran Ennessy’s handsome face as his eyes moved along the sentences I’d written made my breathing feel heavy and uneven.

And what worried me even more than being threshed and torn apart was something else.

‘What if he thinks I’m stupid after reading my draft…?’

Jeran Ennessy wasn’t just my professor, but one of my capture targets. I had an obligation to seduce this man and lure him into bed.

I didn’t know what kind of woman he liked, but given that he’d become a professor at such a young age, he surely preferred someone intelligent.

If he found out that I didn’t possess the level of intellect he valued, he’d be disappointed in me, his interest would fade, and his affection would naturally decrease.

‘There’s nothing harder than trying to win someone’s favor while they think you’re stupid….’

Of all people, my capture target had to be a professor, which made my mediocre intellect seem as worthless as a pebble on the side of the road.

‘If Lucia herself were still here, would it have been easier to seduce him?’

I briefly entertained the thought, but it was a useless one.

I was already inside this body. I was Lucia. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t summon intelligence that didn’t exist.

‘Maybe I should just pray for Lucia’s soul to possess me for a while instead.’

My pleas for help writing the thesis or preparing the conference presentation had been completely ignored. Even so, it had never crossed my mind to summon Lucia’s spirit.

But since I was already possessing her body, I started wondering—wouldn’t it be possible to temporarily call forth the original owner’s soul?

‘Instead of sitting in the library trying to write, maybe I should learn exorcism or summoning magic or something like that….’

While I was seriously considering that idea, Jeran Ennessy set down the presentation materials I had handed him, having gone through them all.

The heart that had barely calmed down while I’d been daydreaming tightened in anxiety once more.