I Need the True Ending to Graduate - Chapter 48

【 Confession 】

Ruad couldn’t believe that he had fallen for Lucia Even.

Even to himself, it was clear that he was in love with her.

For days now, like an idiot with an empty head, he kept replaying in his mind what had happened in the courtyard.

Lucia Even, her eyes lighting up as she spotted him and called his name.

Lucia Even, carefully picking out chocolates with a serious face.

Lucia Even, choosing one and slipping it into his mouth, the faint sensation of her fingers brushing against him.

Lucia Even, savoring the sweetness of chocolate with a joyful smile.

Lucia Even, her gaze soft and sweet, melting like chocolate in warmth.

Ruad’s mind was trapped in that exact moment.

No matter how he thought about it, there was no other explanation but that he had fallen in love.

Ruad was convinced of it, but he still couldn’t fully accept his feelings.

‘Of all people, I fell in love with Lucia Even?’

Lying on his bed, he stared up at the crimson canopy above and let out a hollow laugh at himself.

‘I approached Lucia Even to find her weakness, and now I’ve fallen in love? With a commoner who trampled my pride? After all the cold treatment at the start?’

He scolded himself to get a grip, to not let a fleeting emotion sway him, that it was only for a moment that Lucia Even had looked pretty. But it wasn’t working.

‘Just what part of Lucia Even did I fall for?’

He admitted she had a rather pretty face. But she wasn’t affectionate. She was blunt, sometimes kind, sometimes gentle, and occasionally her smile was beautiful.

“Ah, Ruad Rochef, you crazy bastard….”

Ruad cursed himself, rubbing his face as Lucia’s image kept flashing across the ceiling.

He thought listing her flaws might tear away the delusion, but all he saw was the woman he loved.

It was enough to drive him insane.

“Why her… damn it, why the hell does it have to be her….”

He sighed out his lament.

The purpose he had when he first approached her was long gone, and he couldn’t accept that he was now dazed and tangled in such a trivial emotion as love.

Even worse was the reaction from below.

His pants were bulging, straining against the fabric as if to tear through.

That morning, he had already been forced to change his underwear after a wet dream, something that had never once happened in his life.

And yet again, just thinking of Lucia Even had him hard once more.

This broken, uncontrollable reaction wasn’t happening for the first time either.

Ever since that small, meaningless moment in the courtyard, just seeing chocolate made him aroused, and the instant he caught Lucia Even’s scent, he almost grabbed her face and kissed her without thinking.

Every time their fingers brushed, his heart and lower body throbbed at once, forcing him to run to the bathroom more times than he could count.

Everything was a mess. The relationship he had carefully built with Lucia, his body, his lower half—every damn thing.

‘This fucked-up thing, I can’t tear it off either.’

Ruad buried his face in his hands and groaned deeply. It was the first time in his life he had ever resented the thing attached to him so much, finding it nothing but a hindrance.

Despite the blatant reactions of his body and heart, Ruad decided to cover up the fact that he had fallen in love.

He wasn’t ready to accept his feelings, he didn’t want to acknowledge them, and he hated the thought of his original plan falling apart more than anything.

‘I’ll just think about it later. Time might change things, and it could be a temporary delusion. My dick… ah, whatever. It’ll work out somehow.’

So Ruad postponed everything for later, and carried on with Lucia as if nothing had changed, desperately acting like just a friend. At least outwardly, that’s how it looked.

Before long, the day came that he had promised Lucia. After studying at the library until the morning, they were supposed to have lunch together at the cafeteria.

At last, a proper lunch after weeks. Ruad was excited like a child.

Up until now, he had only managed to share a few snacks and desserts with her, but they were nowhere near enough to replace a full meal.

However, when the promised time came and he went to meet her, Lucia didn’t look like she was about to suggest going for lunch.

The entire time in the library, her face had been faintly shadowed, and she wore a subtly gloomy expression. She was also speaking less than usual.

When he asked if she wasn’t feeling well, Lucia only shook her head and said it was nothing. But her expression was stiff and hardened.

“Why don’t you just go back to the dorm early today and get some rest?”

As they packed up and were about to leave the library, Ruad suggested it. Lucia, halfway through putting on her bag, turned to look at him.

“Why?”

“Well, you haven’t looked well all day. I think you’re not feeling too good. We can eat another time. Let’s just head back for today. I’ll walk you to the dorm.”

“….”

Though Ruad gestured with concern, Lucia didn’t move an inch. Then, a familiar look appeared on her face.

It was the same look she used to give him before he broke through her iron wall, the distant eyes that looked at him as if he were a stranger.

An uneasy chill crawled up his back.

He was just about to apologize, thinking he might have said something wrong, when Lucia spoke first.

“I’m fine. My face must just look off because of my mood. More importantly, didn’t we agree to go eat lunch? If we don’t go now, it’ll get crowded.”

“Well… yeah, but….”

No matter how he looked at it, it didn’t seem like something that could be brushed off as just a mood. But Ruad closed his mouth.

He instinctively realized that if the conversation went on any longer here, something would break beyond repair.

Ruad swallowed once and took a step back.

“Alright. But if you feel unwell later, tell me. I’ll come right away.”

“I will. Thanks for worrying. For now, let’s go eat. I’m hungry.”

“…Yeah.”

At Lucia’s prompting, Ruad let himself be pushed along toward the student cafeteria.

***

Lucia, who had stubbornly refused to eat at the cafeteria as if she didn’t even know where it was, looked far too familiar with the place.

She lined up among the other students, placed the dishes she wanted on her tray, and sat at a suitable spot.

The entire sequence of actions was so natural that Ruad couldn’t understand why she had avoided the cafeteria all this time.

‘Was it just because she didn’t want to eat alone?’

Ruad wondered.

There were people who despised eating by themselves.

Lucia had no friends to eat with, and the cafeteria wasn’t a small restaurant but a large place that accommodated a crowd. Eating alone there could certainly feel lonely.

‘But if that was the case, she could have just asked me to eat with her.’

He was her friend now. A real friend, one that even she acknowledged.

If she had avoided the cafeteria simply because she hated the loneliness of eating alone, she could have asked him. Going to the cafeteria wasn’t difficult, nor was it such a huge favor that it would be troublesome to ask.

‘Then what the hell…. Wait a second. Didn’t she say something back then?’

Ruad froze with his spoon halfway to the soup and tried to recall with a serious face.

He was certain that when they had shared chocolates in the courtyard, Lucia had said something important.

‘She definitely said that once we went to the cafeteria… what was it?’

Just as he was about to remember what Lucia had said, she tapped his shoulder from beside him and spoke.

“Ruad.”

“Huh? Yeah? Did you call me?”

“Sorry, but could you get me some water?”

“Oh, sure. Wait here. I’ll get it for you.”

At Lucia’s request, Ruad immediately stood, poured some water into a cup, and carefully returned to her, making sure not to spill it. But just then, a commotion broke out.

“….”

When he lifted his head, he saw Lucia with a plate overturned on her head. A plate of steaming hot soup she had only just received, not even touched yet.

Her soft brown hair, usually neat and tidy, was now soaked with the thick liquid.

Lucia, as though this weren’t the first time, showed no change in expression even as the hot soup drenched her head. She simply sat there, her face resigned, as if only what was inevitable had happened. Her posture remained straight, her back unbent.

“Ha.”

Ruad let out a short laugh, a mix of disbelief and rage.

His fury was at the boiling point, about to explode, yet his head was frozen over with a terrifying calm.

And then he remembered.

What Lucia had said back then.

“Once we go to the cafeteria, you’ll probably understand naturally. Why I avoid eating there.”

So she had already known. The moment she stepped into the cafeteria, something like this would happen.

On the floor lay a tray clearly spilled on purpose, and the one who had done it didn’t even offer an apology. Instead, they stifled their laughter with a snicker.

Lucia had wanted to show him this side of herself. Just to answer his trivial question of why she never ate in the cafeteria.