I Need the True Ending to Graduate - Chapter 105

“…It’d be nice if you stayed by my side. If we got married and spent our whole lives together, I’d be happier than anything.”

“….”

“To be honest, I don’t want to let you go either. I won’t deny that… I’ve thought about wishing you’d stay in the empire. But that doesn’t feel right, Lucy.”

Ruad gave a bitter smile and shook his head. As if no matter how much he thought about it, he couldn’t do that.

“Even if you stay here, there’s nothing good in it for you. The only advantage is that you’d be by my side, close to me.”

“….”

“And if you marry me, you won’t be able to do the magic research you like, and you’ll have to live your whole life as just Lady Rochef, and I hate that.”

As he said that, Ruad’s face twisted in anguish.

He looked like he’d rather die than watch me live by his side as his wife.

It seemed Ruad valued Lucia more than I’d thought.

Ruad suddenly reached out an arm, gripped my shoulder, and said. The bright red eyes looking at me burned with a certain kind of firm will.

“Lucy. You have to see a wider world. Even if it’s not by my side, you can’t sit down and settle by someone’s side. You definitely can’t live only as someone’s wife.”

Ruad’s hands slid back to where they had been.

Soon his red eyes became distant, as if looking at a sky with no end in sight. There was a smile on his lips. The smile of someone who doesn’t want to send you far away, but has to let you go anyway.

“Fly up, Lucy. With the ability you have, climb to a place so high I can’t reach it.”

“….”

“And I’ll always cheer you on, as your best friend.”

A forlornness flowed in Ruad’s red eyes as he looked at me. He was forcing a smile, but he looked like if someone nudged him, the tears he’d been holding back would patter down.

But I couldn’t bring myself to try to comfort him.

Because I couldn’t fathom the heart of someone who, rather than growing old together with the person he loved, chose to wish for that person’s success and remain that person’s friend forever.

As if trying to loosen the awkward atmosphere that had settled between us, Ruad returned to his usual self and added in a playful, but gentle way.

“So if you need me, contact me anytime, Lucy. I’ll always be waiting.”

***

The last time I met Jeran was fairly recent.

Around the time there were about two weeks left until the graduation thesis submission deadline, Jeran contacted me.

It wasn’t to say we should spend time together in the secret room. Because before I even brought it up to Evan and Ruad, he’d already told me that from now on it’d be best to devote myself to my graduation thesis, and that he wouldn’t call me anymore.

“Of course, there are exceptions if there’s something you want to discuss regarding the thesis or if you need counseling. In that case, it’s fine to come by anytime.”

He didn’t forget to add that, wearing his usual gentle smile.

I was deeply grateful for the consideration he always gave me. I was even more grateful because I knew it wasn’t just something he said.

Whether I should call it fortunate or unfortunate, as I wrote the thesis, there was nothing that required Jeran’s counseling.

In any case, this wasn’t my thesis; it was Lucia’s thesis. It wasn’t like I had to write and pass it with my pitiful skills. The game system was helping me.

What I was worried about was whether I’d really be able to see the true ending, and the real thesis I’d face when I saw the true ending and returned to reality.

But there was no way I could tell Jeran that.

As I wrote the thesis, time passed, and Jeran didn’t contact me even once during that time.

And then, out of nowhere, he sent a letter saying he wanted to meet in his laboratory.

‘Did something happen?’

That was the first thought that came to mind.

He was someone who had been considerate of me, telling me to devote myself to the thesis, so if he was suddenly calling me out, I figured something serious must have happened.

I headed straight to Jeran’s laboratory, and Jeran greeted me with warm, fragrant tea and asked, “Miss Even. After you graduate, what are you planning to do? Do you have some kind of plan?”

It felt unfamiliar to see him get straight to the point without the usual greeting, without talking about the weather.

His expression was gentle as always, but the way he looked at me was strangely sharp, and I felt a little intimidated as I answered.

“…No, not yet… I don’t.”

Worried it was too lame an answer, I hurriedly added, “Right now, I want to focus on graduating from the academy.”

“Can I take it that you still don’t have a specific plan?”

Jeran asked again, as if finishing me off. Unlike with Evan or Ruad, hearing that from Jeran made me feel a little pathetic.

‘It’s like I’m some mayfly living day to day, just looking at graduation.’

If I thought about it, it was true that I was living while only looking at graduation, so I didn’t really have anything to say.

Even so, I didn’t have the courage to nod, so I answered with silence instead.

Then Jeran asked in a much gentler voice, “Then do you have any intention of continuing your research in the future?”

“….”

I couldn’t answer. Having no plan meant I’d never even thought about wanting to continue research or anything like that. All I wanted was graduation and the true ending.

At the continued silence, Jeran opened his mouth.

“Once you graduate, many options will be laid out in front of you, Miss Even. You could leave Calypse Academy and go abroad to study, or you could choose a life as a wizard rather than a researcher. Leaving academia for good would also be one option.”

“….”

“No matter how little of a specific plan you have, I think you must have decided your mind to some extent.”

Jeran paused there for a moment, then opened his mouth again.

“If you have any intention of continuing your research here, tell me. Then I’ll be your patron and advising professor and lead you, at least until you establish yourself as a researcher or professor.”

I was surprised by the unexpected offer, and Jeran continued with a face that didn’t look very confident.

“Of course, I might be a bit clumsy. I’m not used to taking responsibility for someone or guiding someone yet….”

“….”

“I might not be able to protect you very skillfully or like a proper adult. Maybe it’ll be a little hard because of other people’s rumors, like it is now. Still….”

Jeran, who had been speaking modestly, changed his expression and smiled brightly at me. It was a gentle smile, but somehow, it held a strong will.

“Still, I want you to be able to do what you want and live happily, Miss Even.”

“….”

“I’ll do my best to protect you so you can do that, so once you’ve made up your mind for sure, tell me. You can do that, can’t you, Miss Even?”

As I quietly listened to what he was saying, I asked carefully, “Um, I’m sorry, but is it okay if I ask you one thing, Professor?”

“Yes, it’s fine. Ask me anything.”

“…If I don’t stay by your side, and I abandon being a wizard, my research, even becoming a professor, and instead live an ordinary life… would that still be okay?”

I’d asked just in case, but Jeran didn’t get angry. Instead, he smiled broadly. As if what I was worried about didn’t matter to him at all.

“It’s fine. If you’re happy, Miss Even, I respect your choice.”

“Even if I throw away research and magic, all of it?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Why?”

Flustered by the firm answer, I asked again, and Jeran replied without the slightest hesitation, with a face that said it was only natural.

“Because whatever it is, it’ll also be something you want to do, Miss Even.”

Then he added with a smile, “So, when you make your plans, tell me, too. Whatever it is, I’ll be waiting.”

In the end, Jeran was telling me he’d respect my choice regardless of whatever expectations or hopes he might have for me.

I knew it wasn’t just empty words. Jeran would probably really respect whatever choice I made.

Because it was my choice. Because it’d be the choice that made me happy.

My chest tightened at the unconditional trust I was receiving from someone else for the first time, and at the same time, my heart grew heavy.

In the swirling emotions, there weren’t many answers I could give Jeran.

“…All right.”

All I could do was nod and make a promise I didn’t know if I could keep.