Dirty Heart - Chapter 47

“What exactly are you planning?”

In the end, Courtney sat up and stared straight at Lionel as she asked.

“Planning?”

“I heard everything. About how a pig heart transplant is possible.”

Her voice was full of distrust, but Lionel simply nodded with a completely calm face.

“It’s exactly as you heard.”

“That makes no sense. Now all of a sudden, you don’t need my heart anymore?”

“It’s only natural that you find it hard to believe. But it is the result of my father’s hard work over a long period of time.”

Lionel pointed to the stack of newspaper articles piled high on the bedside table. She had already read them over and over until the paper wore thin, but even so, she couldn’t shake off her suspicion.

“So you’re really going to get the transplant? A pig’s heart?”

“There’s no reason not to. If it means saving you, Courtney.”

Lionel nodded with a calm face. Staring at that composed expression, Courtney shot back at him immediately.

“And what happens after the transplant? Once you’re healthy, are you going to die right in front of your father like some kind of show? If the Duke finds out about this, do you think he’ll just leave me alone? He might try to kill me along with you!”

It was entirely possible. If his son died, where would the Duke’s anger be directed? It was obvious Courtney would become his immediate target.

Yet an incredibly shameless answer came from Lionel’s mouth.

“Then I just won’t die.”

“For fuck’s sake. When you were talking about chessboards or whatever, you sounded so serious, and now you’re saying something completely different?”

“That’s because I want to see you a little longer.”

“…Bullshit.”

Even at her blatant sarcasm, Lionel didn’t mind at all. Instead, he gently took her hand and continued seriously.

“I told you. I love you, Courtney.”

“….”

“When you almost died, it felt like my world was collapsing. I don’t want to lose you again.”

For a moment, she was entranced by the man’s face as he confessed his love with his eyes softening.

“…D-Don’t smile like that.”

As expected, the body’s original owner’s tendency still remained, so the moment she saw his smile, her heart softened on its own. This wavering feeling like a reed was definitely not her true feelings. Definitely. Really….

“Listen carefully, Courtney.”

Lionel tightened his grip on her hand.

“In a few days, Alex will be the first to receive a pig heart transplant. Once it’s proven that he’s safe, I’ll undergo the surgery right after.”

“What? What are you talking about now? You’re saying you’ll use Sir Lanchester as a test subject?”

She was dumbfounded. She couldn’t believe that Alex would suddenly receive a pig heart transplant. He was a perfectly healthy young man with no underlying illness.

“And if something goes wrong…?”

“It’s an experiment whose safety has been proven, so there’s no need to worry too much.”

“Wow. Your personality is seriously something.”

A chill ran all over her body. No matter how proven the experiment was, to use a long-time escort knight as a test subject so casually.

‘He really is terrifying. And that’s the male lead.’

The feelings that had wavered just moments ago cooled instantly. She must not be swayed by that cunning man who tossed around words of love so easily. There was no knowing when she might be betrayed again, so she had to stay sharp.

“We’ll talk in detail later. It’s late.”

“You wake me up in the middle of the night and now you say that? W-Wait a second? Why are you taking off your clothes?”

“From today on, we’ll sleep in the same bed.”

Until now, Lionel had slept separately, saying Courtney needed to focus on recovery, but perhaps she now looked well enough, because he slipped onto the bed shirtless.

Courtney screamed in horror at the prospect of sleeping together again, “I’m not fully recovered yet. My side still throbs!”

“Who said I’d do anything? We’ll just hold hands and sleep,” he whispered playfully and slipped under the blanket in an instant.

“D-Don’t you dare lay a finger on me!”

Courtney declared in a sharp voice and pulled the blanket up over her head. Whether the pig heart transplant succeeded or not, avoiding sex with Lionel was the only form of resistance she could manage right now.

Watching Lionel warily, Courtney then noticed the unfamiliar necklace around his neck. A rather crude locket glinted coldly against his pale chest.

“By the way, what’s that strange thing on your neck? You’re not a thug. It’s so tacky—”

“My mother’s keepsake.”

“…No wonder it looks antique.”

Realizing her slip, Courtney quickly corrected herself. No matter how much of a human trash he was, bringing up a dead mother crossed a line.

He carefully opened the locket and showed Courtney the portrait of his mother, Marianne. With platinum-blonde hair and bright blue eyes, she was a beauty that lifted the mood just by looking at her.

“What do you think? She’s beautiful, right?”

He smiled innocently, like a child showing off his mother. Maybe that was why. The resolve she had steeled softened without resistance.

“Yeah… I guess. She looks like you, Young Duke.”

“Really? I thought I didn’t resemble my mother at all.”

“Hmm. Not in appearance, but your aura feels similar.”

“Aura?”

“Yes, the feeling you give off.”

Of course, there was no denying that Lionel strongly resembled the Duke of Erhardt, but that particular forlorn air seemed inherited from his mother’s side.

“I almost ended up receiving my mother’s heart.”

“What did you say…?”

Hearing this for the first time, Courtney’s eyes widened.

“When my mother was on the brink of death after a carriage accident, my father said this. That he would immediately extract her heart and transplant it into me. That was the only way for me to live.”

“Did your mother agree to that?”

Lionel slowly shook his head. “No. My mother wanted to live. That’s why the carriage accident happened. I helped her escape. From my father.”

“….”

In the original story, it was only briefly mentioned that Lionel’s mother died in a carriage accident when he was young. Not a single line described the detailed circumstances.

Only then did it make sense why Lionel had planned to kill himself after receiving the heart transplant. Not only would he have to live bearing resentment toward his father, but also guilt toward his mother for the rest of his life, so his insides must have been completely rotted away.

“This is ridiculous. If he values his son that much, why doesn’t he just give his own heart? Why force it onto a perfectly alive wife?”

Courtney raised her voice in anger. Even though she had only seen the woman through a portrait, the fact that she had been forced toward death simply for being a mother made her furious. There was no denying that maternal love was a great instinct, but that didn’t mean it was absolute enough to offer one’s life.

“Children originally come from their mother’s body. So he thought it was only natural to receive a heart from the maternal side rather than the paternal side.”

“So… what happened?”

“I threw a fit, saying I’d rather die than receive my mother’s heart. In the end, my mother closed her eyes first. A dead person’s heart is useless anyway. From my perspective, it was a blessing in disguise.”

He spoke in a calm tone as if talking about someone else’s story, but the guilt and pain inside him were by no means light.

She parted her lips as if to say something, but in the end, she fell silent without finding the right words. How terrible must it have been for him, at that young age, to witness a reality where his mother’s life was treated as nothing more than a tool for her child.

‘So that’s why he turned out this messed up. Now that I hear it, he almost seems a little pitiful…. Wait, who am I pitying right now?’

She never imagined she would come to understand Lionel even a little, so she couldn’t tell how things had led to a conversation like this.

It was all because of hope. The faint hope that she might be able to live had even made this uncharacteristic sympathy grow.

‘But… if I really can live….’

Of course, she felt sorry for Alex, who would end up receiving a pig’s heart out of nowhere, but if she could survive because of it….

Selfishly, it felt like she could ignore it a hundred times, a thousand times.