Dirty Heart - Chapter 23

“That lowly thing just wants to live, that’s all.”

To live.

For a moment, Lionel’s eyes went blank. The single phrase wanting to live struck deep into the wounds buried in his heart.

“My baby. To be honest, Mom wants to live too… I’m so tired of everything now.”

It was the dead of winter, cold enough to slice the flesh. On that night when a snowstorm battered the windows, his mother, her face covered in blood, held her young son and whispered those words.

Wasn’t she the one who always said she could endure anything as long as it meant saving her son? So the yearning for survival that slipped from her lips came as quite a shock to the young boy.

Holding onto her dry, emaciated hand, Lionel cried. If his existence caused her such suffering, he wished he could die in her place. No, if he had never been born in the first place, none of this tragedy would have existed….

“I’m sorry, my baby. I’m so selfish…. My baby is in so much pain, yet I’m the one who wants to live.”

As the memory of that day came back vividly, Lionel’s face twisted in pain. But the Duke, completely unaware of this, continued speaking in a cold voice.

“It’s certainly a clever choice. To brand herself as a promiscuous woman and draw the attention of the entire Empire.”

Until now, Lionel had regarded Courtney as nothing more than a disposable tool. A heart to be carved out on the appointed day, nothing more and nothing less. But,

‘Courtney wants to live.’

Why did such an obvious fact only now begin to feel real? Even a kitten that had lost its mother would crawl into a human’s arms just to survive, so why wouldn’t Courtney want to live as well?

‘She’s just a lowly maid. A pitiful orphan girl.’

Lionel repeatedly tried to convince himself. But her voice, crying and soaked in tears, stubbornly echoed in his ears.

“How can you not even flinch when a child is begging to be saved like that? You heartless monster with not a shred of compassion!”

At last, her face overlapped with the image of his mother screaming in despair, and a sharp pain pierced through his heart once again.

“There’s nothing to worry about.”

As his son fell silent for a moment, the Duke assumed it was due to concerns about side effects and spoke calmly.

“I don’t know how much that girl knows, but my son, there’s only one thing you need to do. You must keep giving that child hope.”

“Hope…?”

“Yes. Give her the hope that she can escape death, and keep her by your side.”

To offer hope of survival as sweet bait, only to push her into despair in the end. That was the Duke’s new plan.

“Father. Is there… no other way?”

At Lionel’s question, the Duke’s expression turned cold.

“Another way?”

“Up until now, I’ve managed to endure without a heart transplant. So…”

“Endure?”

Before Lionel could finish speaking, the Duke cut him off sharply.

“Have you already forgotten how much you’ve suffered your entire life?”

“….”

“The physicians have warned you again and again. Your heart is like a powder keg that could explode at any moment.”

The Duke’s gaze, as he tried to persuade his son, grew even colder.

“You’re not thinking of throwing away your life over some mere maid, are you? Don’t tell me you’ve grown attached to her already.”

“What I mean is,”

“Lionel. Never make your mother’s sacrifice meaningless.”

That single sentence from his father became a heavy shackle, tightening around Lionel’s heart.

***

『Sex is a game – Courtney Balkan’s techniques of seduction』

『What is Courtney’s charm that even nobles line up for?』

『The Empire’s greatest sexual prodigy! A legendary nymphomaniac appears!』

Courtney’s popularity soared higher with each passing day. Every morning, parcels and letters addressed to her piled up like a mountain in the servants’ quarters.

“Ugh, disgusting.”

Picking up one letter from the heap, Courtney clicked her tongue.

The contents of the letter, disguised as a love letter, were truly outrageous. Sexual harassment was the baseline, and occasionally, there were lunatics who even enclosed their own semen and pubic hair.

“Seriously, why are there so many perverted bastards everywhere you go?”

The more Courtney’s fame rose, the uglier the rumors about her became.

Men even began appearing in droves claiming they had slept with Courtney. They boasted that, just like the rumors said, she was unbelievably skilled, that once you tasted her you could never forget it for the rest of your life, and all kinds of absurd lies spread everywhere.

Of course, none of it was true, but there was no need to refute it, so Courtney remained silent. The more the rumors about her being promiscuous spread, the more it benefited her anyway.

“Oh my God, Courtney, look at this! Doesn’t this look insanely expensive?”

Bailey drooled as she put on a ruby necklace.

Most of the gifts were trivial, but occasionally expensive jewelry like this would be included.

“This is real ruby, right? Look at the shine. There’s no way you could ever buy something like this on a maid’s salary.”

“Ridiculous. What do they even expect sending things like this?”

“What do you mean what? Obviously a thrilling one-night stand with you, Courtney.”

At Courtney’s muttering, Bailey gave her a sly, teasing smile.

“But Courtney… I’m curious too. Are you really that good?”

“Didn’t you read the article? It says they finish within three seconds after putting it in.”

“Wow… can’t you teach me some of your secrets? What do you even do to make men go crazy like that? These days, I envy you more than anyone in the world.”

Courtney shrugged at Bailey, who was staring at her with wide eyes.

“I was born this way.”

“Come on, just tell me a little. Courtney…! Where are you going now?”

“To eat.”

Brushing her off casually, she slipped out of the quarters to avoid Bailey. Her roommate’s barrage of questions was nothing new, and she was exhausted.

But things outside weren’t much different. Before she could even take a few steps, the male servants’ gazes all focused on her.

“Hi, Courtney!”

“Whoa. You look even sexier today.”

“Courtney, how about taking a day off this weekend and having dinner together?”

At this ridiculous sight, Courtney clicked her tongue. Just a few days ago, these bastards treated her like she was invisible, and now they were openly hitting on her.

To think her treatment could change this much over a single rumor about being promiscuous. It made her realize just how important image-making really was.

“Courtney.”

At that moment, the gardener Martin approached, calling her name. The greasy smile on his face, his hair slicked down with oil, made her feel sick already.

“Is what you said before still valid? You know, about wanting me to soak you completely.”

A filthy hand caked with dirt suddenly grabbed Courtney’s arm. The rough texture against her skin made her brows knit in irritation.

“Let go of me,” she snapped back in a sharp voice, but Martin didn’t back down so easily.

“I only just heard the rumors. There isn’t a man who doesn’t know how incredible you are. It’s late, but I’d like to… have a taste, at least once.”

“Don’t you have a lover you care about?”

“I only just realized what you meant when you said sometimes you have to indulge in a little snack.”

“You should’ve taken your chance when you had it. I’m not interested in you anymore.”

When Courtney coldly rejected him, Martin’s face flushed instantly, like someone who’d been humiliated. His grip tightened around her arm.

“Why are you acting so high and mighty? You’ve already slept with every man in town anyway. What’s so hard about spreading your legs for me once too—”

“Take your filthy hand off her.”

At that moment, a cold voice came from right behind them. Lionel, appearing like a bolt of lightning, pressed the blade of a blue-steel longsword against Martin’s throat.

“Gasp! Y-Young Duke…!”

Facing Lionel’s terrifying gaze, Martin hurriedly bowed his head, but the cold tip of the blade only dug in deeper.

Drip. Drip. As bright red blood fell to the ground, the corner of Lionel’s lips curved into a chilling smile.

“Something reeked so badly I came to check. Turns out it’s your rotten breath.”

Martin’s face turned deathly pale. Blood flowing from his neck quickly soaked his collar, and foam even began to spill from his mouth.

“Now that I’ve found the cause, I should take care of it, shouldn’t I?”