Deceived, Yet Drawn to You - Chapter 122

Blair stared blankly at Edmund, her lips parting slightly. Her fingertips turned cold, and her mind went completely empty, unable to form a single thought. She felt like a fool. Even after hearing such a clear answer, she still couldn’t comprehend it.

Rufus’s funeral. Only then did Blair fully grasp what that meant, and she raised her trembling hand to her mouth.

“…Are you saying Sir Rufus is dead?”

When…?

Instead of answering, Edmund remained silent. He lowered his gaze slightly from where it rested on Blair and let out a short sigh. His jaw tightened, his expression filled with regret, like someone who wished he could take back the words he’d just spoken.

Blair stared at him in suffocating disbelief, then came to her senses and looked down at the letter again. It was clear. The ceremony was scheduled to be held this coming Sunday. And if it was the Sunday the church referred to….

“The funeral is tomorrow.”

“….”

“My God, when were you planning to tell me? What would you have done if I hadn’t seen this letter? And more importantly, when did Sir Rufus….”

Blair, who had been speaking frantically, suddenly froze as a thought struck her. Edmund still didn’t move his tightly shut lips.

“You never intended to tell me in the first place.”

“Yes.”

Edmund answered flatly. His voice held no hesitation. It was so firm it almost sounded proud, and Blair faltered instead.

“Why?”

“You could have been hurt by the shock. Why would I take such a risk?”

She let out a hollow breath, at a loss for words. She didn’t even know where to begin pointing out the flaw in his reasoning.

“But didn’t you accept me as your wife? Or are we still nothing more than a relationship in name?”

“What are you saying?”

Edmund frowned deeply, then pressed his hand to his forehead before regaining his composed expression.

“You are clearly my wife. Even you can no longer undo that fact.”

“Then I’m also a member of this family. You shouldn’t have excluded me from something this important.”

“I didn’t exclude you. I protected you.”

…Protected her. Blair steadied her breathing and silently repeated the word.

Edmund certainly protected her, to an excessive degree. He’d always been somewhat like that, but for a man so cold and rational to try to block the eyes and ears of a fully grown woman was less protection and closer to confinement.

Now that she thought about it, it seemed driven by his desire to separate her from reality. There had been something strange about it for quite some time. On the day she was diagnosed with pregnancy at the hospital, what had Edmund said?

“Don’t listen to bad news, close your ears… and spend your time resting comfortably, only looking at good things.”

And he insisted that staying in Eldenvale, where Isabelle and Rufus were, would harm her physically and mentally. He acted as if he needed to separate her from that place as soon as possible, like someone who couldn’t afford to leave her there even a single day longer.

At that moment, an absurd thought crossed her mind. A cold chill ran down her spine.

“…Wait.”

Blair tilted her head slightly, her voice trembling.

“Then when exactly did Sir Rufus pass away?”

The man who had answered her without hesitation fell silent. He stared at Blair with dry eyes, then slowly stepped closer, closing the distance between them.

“On the day you were examined at the hospital.”

He took the letter back from her hand as he finished speaking.

“That very day.”

“…That day….”

Blair’s mind went completely blank. Unable to gather her thoughts, she squeezed her eyes shut and opened them again.

That meant Rufus had died so long ago she couldn’t even count the days on her fingers. She didn’t know why the funeral had been postponed for so long, but more than that, there were far too many things that didn’t make sense.

“I received word in the early hours of dawn. That Rufus, who was in hiding with my mother, was in critical condition. They said he appeared to have been attacked by a robber on the night streets and was urgently transported to the hospital.”

“…Then why, of all days, did you take me to the hospital that same day?”

“Obviously, to have you examined.”

Edmund emphasized that point firmly. His voice remained calm throughout.

“Your appointment at the Royal Hospital of Borsa was already scheduled for that day. I needed to confirm Rufus’s condition as well, and since your complexion wasn’t good at the time, I thought it would be efficient to proceed as planned.”

The implication that he’d handled everything at once while he was already going to the hospital sank coldly into Blair’s chest.

“…My God.”

“I didn’t tell you because you might have been pregnant. And weren’t you actually diagnosed that way? If you’d learned of Rufus’s death first, you would’ve had to face my mother in her lost sanity as well. Do you think you could have endured that shock?”

“That’s why you didn’t tell me?”

“Yes. I judged that decision to be the best option.”

Blair’s fingertips trembled faintly. She couldn’t let herself waver like this. If she was swept away by her emotions now, she would never be able to continue this conversation.

She couldn’t give Edmund an excuse to define her as a woman incapable of enduring even the smallest shock, or a justification to exclude her from important matters. Blair believed that a husband and wife should stand in the same place.

“Ed, I don’t want to recklessly ask about whatever may have happened between you and the madam. That’s your domain, and it’s not something I should judge carelessly.”

“But?”

“…But it was the place where her son was dying. And at that very time, I was in the same hospital, completely unaware, receiving obstetric care. That’s completely against basic decency. If I had known, I wouldn’t have gone that day.”

“You know what my priority is.”

“No. I don’t.”

Edmund raised his eyebrows. Blair’s breathing grew slightly uneven, but she didn’t back down.

“If this continues, I won’t know whether your priority is me, the child… or something else that secures your future.”

“Unbelievable.”

Edmund’s lips twisted. More than anger, he looked insulted.

“You still doubt me?”

“It’s your intentions I doubt…!”

Her voice rose despite herself, and a cold silence fell between them. Edmund puffed out his broad chest, suppressing the emotions surging within him. He remained silent, as if worried she might become too agitated and harm the child in her womb.

“Edmund. What I want to say is that we need to attend Sir Rufus’s funeral together. It doesn’t mean I want to mourn his death deeply. But I believe we should at least fulfill the minimum courtesy.”

Blair drew a shaky breath as she looked into the man’s eyes standing before her. Then she carefully reached out and took his hand. As if hoping her sincerity would reach him, she interlocked her fingers with his and held on tightly.

“I’m your wife. I don’t want to be excluded at important moments.”

“…But my world is not beautiful.”

Even as he met Blair’s eyes, he murmured with hollow eyes that seemed to stare somewhere far beyond her.

“It’s like a filthy sewer. Do you still want to stay by my side?”

“Yes. I’m not weak, and I’m not someone who breaks easily. And we’re husband and wife.”

“….”

“If that’s the case, one person can’t bear all of reality alone while the other retreats without knowing anything. If I can’t endure what you endure together with you, then I don’t deserve to be your wife. I don’t want to be that kind of wife.”

Even after hearing her sincere confession, Edmund didn’t look pleased. A faint crack formed in his deeply sunken eyes. She fully understood how he must feel, but Blair didn’t want to step back either. He let out a breath, as if resigning himself.

“Promise me one thing.”

Edmund tightened his grip on their joined hands.

“Don’t leave my side for even a single moment. If it’s unavoidable, you must move only with someone I’ve permitted, and if you feel even the slightest strain while the ceremony is underway, you must leave immediately. If you keep those conditions, I’ll follow your wishes.”

“I promise.”

She nodded without hesitation, but Edmund still didn’t look at ease. Blair wrapped her arms around his solid body and held him tightly. Once again, she hoped her sincerity would reach him completely.

***

As soon as dawn broke, the two boarded the vehicle bound for Eldenvale. Since last night, Edmund had been doing everything he could to hide his anxiety. He didn’t like sending Blair outside in such bitterly cold weather, and taking her there with his own hands, to that hellish place, made the old wounds carved deep in his chest throb again.

The memories of ruin he carried still lingered in Eldenvale. Bringing Blair, who wasn’t even alone in her body, into the very center of it wasn’t simply a matter of discomfort.

“But why was the funeral delayed for so long?”