Deceived, Yet Drawn to You - Chapter 105

Blair glanced at Benjamin as he packed up his medical bag, then quietly steadied her breathing.

“Yes. Please come in.”

Click. Edmund opened the bedroom door and walked in with heavy steps. Benjamin, who had been just about ready to leave, hid his earlier fluster and smiled at him as if nothing had happened.

“I was just about to head out, and you arrived at exactly the right time.”

“….”

“It’s still hard to draw a definite conclusion. Still, would you like to hear a brief assessment?”

“Later. I think it’d be better for me to speak with my wife first.”

Edmund replied curtly and, without sparing the doctor even a glance, walked over to Blair on the sofa and reached out. His fingers gently brushed her forehead, as if checking for a fever.

Feeling the familiar warmth, Blair carefully looked up at Edmund. His face looked no different than usual, but his expression was a little darker. Had something happened?

“I’ll pass along that another examination in about two weeks should make things clearer. Then, Duchess, I’ll be on my way.”

Sensing the strange atmosphere, Benjamin spoke quickly and left the bedroom. At last, only the two of them remained, and silence settled over the space. Despite the awkward stillness, neither of them spoke first.

Blair studied Edmund’s face, but once again failed to read his thoughts. She wanted to ask if he was all right, but the words wouldn’t come easily. She could only guess that something unpleasant had happened. The shadows flickering over his composed face felt unfamiliar.

The gaze resting on her wordlessly curved into a faint smile.

“How did you feel?”

Edmund continued in a slightly hoarse voice, “When you were told you might not be pregnant.”

“…I’m not sure.”

As Blair lowered her gaze, the hand holding her chin applied pressure and lifted her face. Meeting his eyes again, she saw a more distinct smile. It was not one born of pleasant feelings.

“It’s all right. Go ahead and tell me.”

“I….”

Would it really be all right to be honest?

“I thought… it was a relief. I don’t think I’m ready yet.”

In an instant, the forced smile on Edmund’s face vanished completely. Blair quickly added a careful explanation.

“This wasn’t something we planned.”

When they first entered into a contract marriage, neither of them had considered pregnancy. Even after they fell in love, they had never carefully planned for it. The ‘we’ Blair meant referred to the latter. But the man standing before her seemed to take it differently.

“Didn’t you say you thought a child was the fruit of love?”

“…I do think that.”

“Oh. Now that it’s right in front of you, it doesn’t feel like love anymore?”

A twisted smile slipped from between his lips.

“What a shame. To think you embraced me so many times without even being sure it was love.”

“…Edmund.”

“I said that entirely with you in mind. If you held uncertain feelings while lying in my arms, it must’ve been quite the ordeal.”

“A child is someone the parents must take responsibility for with their entire lives. If it happens without planning, how troublesome would that be?”

Blair carefully softened the end of her sentence.

“And I thought you, more than anyone, disliked things that fall outside of plans….”

“Circumstances have changed.”

Edmund cut her off shortly, his tone firm. Blair, who had been looking up at him with her brows slightly drawn together, finally let out a sigh.

The conversation kept circling back to the same place. She couldn’t tell whether the circumstances he spoke of referred to the change brought about by the will, or to the original situation where he never expected to fall this deeply for her. Blair couldn’t be certain of anything. Not even the love he’d promised her in the end.

“Even if I need another examination later to know for sure, anyway… it’d be best for you to be careful from now on.”

“…Careful.”

Edmund let out a dry laugh and lowered the hand that had been holding Blair’s cheek. With his large palm, he wrapped around her straight neck, brushed her earlobe, then slipped his hand beneath the fabric to caress her bare shoulder. The precarious touch made her breathing waver for a moment. Judging from their many encounters, this was the sign that always came before he took her to bed.

“So you’re telling me to hold back even if I want to hold you?”

“That’s not what I meant….”

The hand that had lingered at her shoulder naturally traced down over her collarbone and grabbed her breast. When her body, already trained to pleasure, reacted on its own, a chill ran down Blair’s spine.

“This isn’t the time to be talking about that.”

She hurriedly grabbed his wrist.

“Ed, what’s wrong with you?”

“….”

“Did something happen?”

Edmund stayed silent for a while with his wrist held. The man’s chest rose and fell once before he finally spoke.

“I need you, Blair.”

The voice was strangely desperate. Like breath he’d been holding in for a long time finally bursting out.

“I can’t imagine a life without you by my side anymore. I don’t have the option of letting you go now.”

Blair’s heart began to pound rapidly. On his face flickered emotions that couldn’t be explained by love alone. It looked like desperation, as if he were grasping at a final lifeline while being strangled.

Yet she couldn’t say anything. His confession brought both rapture and fear at once, leaving her unable to reach out to either.

And still, she wanted to pull the crumbling man into her arms. Because that was the love she knew.

Blair rose from the sofa and held Edmund’s face in both hands. In an instant, their lips locked and their breaths tangled. From cheeks colliding like that, tears ran, though she couldn’t tell whose they were.

***

On the night the ducal couple fell into an unusually deep sleep, a silent commotion unfolded within the mansion.

With only the minimum lights lit, Isabelle walked quietly down the corridor, Rufus following just as silently behind her. Their steps were headed toward the back gate of the mansion.

When they finally reached it, a guard who’d been pacing restlessly nearby noticed them and flinched.

“I was worried you’d be late. It’s almost time for the shift change, so I was anxious… thank heavens.”

The guard whispered in relief to Isabelle. Sam, a guard who had served House Libert for two generations, was someone who’d long received Isabelle’s patronage.

“I’ll never forget your service. Did you bring it?”

“Yes, right here.”

Isabelle wrapped herself in one of the black cloaks Sam handed over, then personally draped the other around Rufus. With his slight build only a little larger than Isabelle’s, it was hard to make out his identity beneath the hat pulled low.

“No one saw you, right?”

“Yes, but since I suddenly asked to switch to night duty, there was a bit of suspicion. Word might reach the Duke… no, the young master at any time.”

The effort was obvious even in how he deliberately called Edmund the ‘young master’ just to placate Isabelle.

“Don’t worry. All that matters is getting safely out of Eldenvale tonight.”

“The carriage is prepared outside. My uncle will escort you to Borsa.”

Sam hesitated slightly before adding, “Um… if the young master finds out, I won’t be able to keep working at the ducal estate. So about the reward you promised, please….”

“Hey! This is no time to be talking about rewards.”

Rufus, who had been listening quietly, snapped impatiently and raised his voice. Startled, Isabelle hurried to stop her son and then nodded firmly at the guard.

“I’ll make sure you’re compensated. You have my word.”

“…Yes.”

The back gate, its hinges freshly oiled, opened without a sound. Rufus slipped out first, and as Isabelle followed, she suddenly stopped and looked up. She stared at the second-floor bedroom where Edmund would be, as if refusing to follow his will.

“Mother! What are you doing? We’ll be late!”

Rufus, who had gone a few steps ahead, turned back and called out to her. The sharp light in Isabelle’s eyes softened as she looked at her son, brighter than it had been in a long time.

“Let’s go now.”

My son. My precious child, whom I cannot send anywhere. No matter the cost, this mother will protect you.