Anything But Study - Chapter 41

***

It had already been a year since Hailon came here.

It was also the time when full summer returned once more.

The war between the imperial faction and the noble faction still had not ended, and their confrontation continued.

Even so, the orphanage belonged to the relatively safe side, having suffered no major damage.

Often, Melia and Hailon would dip their feet in the stream near the orphanage and chat quietly together.

Listening to the rustling sound of leaves brushing against each other as she sat beside Hailon, Melia suddenly grew curious.

“Calix, what kind of people were your parents?”

It was a question that could easily become a wound, but Hailon knew that Melia didn’t mean it that way.

To begin with, this place was an orphanage.

It was a place where children who shared the common experience of losing their parents gathered.

Knowing they carried the same wound, there was no reason to twist the intent behind the question.

“My parents?”

“Yeah. You’ve never talked about them.”

“Have I not?”

Hailon hesitated for a moment, then continued. In his mind appeared the warm smile of his mother, as gentle as Melia sitting beside him.

For an instant, the dark memory of the end brushed past him, but whenever he thought of his mother, the first memories that surfaced were always good ones.

Maybe because of that. Even though more than a year had already passed since that day, his memories of his mother were still vivid and warm.

“My mom was a really good person. Elegant, kind. She loved me more than anyone.”

“Then what about your dad? Was he kind like your mom?”

At her question, Hailon briefly thought of his father, the Duke of Alfred, and his expression stiffened for a moment.

“My father? …Not really.”

There was nothing more to say about his father. No matter how he searched his memories, his father never gave him affection.

Emphasizing the conduct he had to uphold as a son of the House of Alfred or the family’s public reputation was one thing.

But his father treated him as if he were a doll.

A doll that existed to make him look better.

“Oh, um, I see.”

Seeing Hailon’s expression darken, Melia hurriedly sprang to her feet to change the subject.

“Should we try crossing by stepping on the stones?”

“What if you fall in again like last time?”

“What are you talking about? I’m nine now. Do you think I’m still eight?”

Snorting indignantly, Melia wore a confident smile and started crossing, stepping on the stones that rose above the stream.

The water was shallow, only reaching about chest height by a child’s standards, so it was not dangerous.

Hailon shook his head as if she was hopeless, then stood up and followed behind her.

Only a few stones remained before they would reach the other side.

With a triumphant expression, Melia turned back toward Hailon and asked, “Well, Calix? I’m good now, right?”

“Be careful. If you let your guard down again….”

“Ah, ahh!”

“Melia!”

Melia’s foot slipped when she failed to look ahead properly.

As her balance collapsed, Hailon immediately pulled her toward him.

Thanks to that, Melia managed to stand properly on the stone again, but.

“Calix!”

Instead, Hailon fell straight into the water.

Splash.

“Are you okay?”

Since he ended up sitting in the water, Hailon was, naturally, soaked from head to toe.

Melia’s face filled with worry.

“I’m sorry. Because of me.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah. You caught me. Thank you.”

Water dripped steadily from Hailon’s body as he moved himself to the edge.

Worried that he might catch a cold, Melia hurriedly took out a handkerchief.

“Let’s at least dry you a little with this.”

Melia wiped at his thoroughly soaked face here and there. It was far from enough to remove all the moisture, but she meant to at least dry his face.

Then Hailon’s state caught her eye, and a snort of laughter escaped her.

“But you really look like a drenched little mouse, Calix.”

“What? A mouse?”

“Yeah. Your hair’s black too.”

“Isn’t it a bit much to call your friend a mouse? I fell in for your sake.”

“Ahahaha, but it’s so funny!”

“Give it to me. I’ll dry myself.”

“Go ahead!”

After handing over the handkerchief, Melia ran off, her cheerful reaction making a smile form at the corner of Hailon’s mouth.

“Stop right there! Melia!”

“I don’t want to!”

I have to get there faster than Hailon chasing after me! Thinking only that, Melia ran ahead and completely forgot about the handkerchief.

***

Another year passed like that, and even the remote orphanage received good news.

They said the civil war finally ended after two years, and peace had at last returned.

The imperial faction emerged victorious once again, and the nobles who were the main culprits were all purged.

Of course, the country was left in shambles after two years of war, but many people were happy simply because it did not drag on any longer.

The commoners, who belonged to neither the imperial faction nor the noble faction, rejoiced at the news that the empire’s turmoil was finally over.

The situation gradually began to stabilize.

And families who had been scattered went out in search of one another.

Inquiries poured into orphanages all across the country. They were looking for their children.

The orphanage where Melia and Hailon stayed was no exception.

One month, two months. As time passed, the once cramped orphanage where dozens of children lived together slowly became more spacious.

That was because friends who found their families began to leave one by one.

With more than half gone, the orphanage somehow felt desolate.

This place, once so crowded that it was hard to stretch out one’s legs while sleeping, now had enough space that even when Melia tossed and turned in her sleep, she didn’t bump into anyone.

Today as well, some friend’s parents came to visit. Watching that child leave with a happy face, Melia felt envious.

“Wow, I’m jealous.”

But Hailon did not seem to feel the same. With an indifferent expression, he asked Melia, “Are you jealous?”

Melia nodded as if it were obvious. “Yeah. They have family who came to find them. Going home and being together with their whole family sounds so nice.”

Of course, she did have her younger brother Ervan, but how wonderful would it be to have a louder, warmer household?

Those days when she was with her mother and father were truly happy, but now they were a past she could never return to.

Naturally, Melia envied the friends who left to find their families. They had a life she could no longer have.

But Hailon was different. As for his father, he did not even want to call someone like that family.

Even if they were family, not everyone shared love with one another. No matter how many such people there were, they were no better than unnecessary.

In fact, rather….

Wouldn’t it be better if Melia and he were family?

So Hailon let slip words filled with his true feelings.

“Then we can be family with just us.”

“Just us?”

Melia’s eyes widened into round circles.

Hailon always thought so. That surprised look when she asked back like that was really pretty.

“We’re friends. How do we become family?”

Friends.

At some point, Hailon began to dislike that word.

He didn’t realize it, but instinctively, he wanted a relationship closer than that.

“Family is closer. Closer than friends. There’s no reason we can’t. We just decide it that way.”

“Yeah! Sounds good!”

Melia beamed.

That would work.

Let’s be family, just us.

“Then when we grow up, me, Ervan, and you, Calix. The three of us will live together like this.”

“Okay. But… later on, you can’t go back on your word, Melia.”

“Yeah! I promise.”

Melia rejoiced, saying that three people would be more than enough to be lively. Just imagining it already made her happy.

But that promise could not be kept.

About another year passed after that day, meaning it was the third year since Hailon began living under the name Calix.

A massive fire broke out and left the orphanage in ruins, and a few days later, Hailon had to leave.

***

Hailon closed his eyes, then opened them.

The enormous blaze that seemed as if it would swallow the orphanage whole.

That disaster was something no one could have predicted.

Even though it was an event from more than ten years ago, the expression on young Melia’s face as she looked at him with eyes filled with loathing, as if even seeing him made her teeth clench, remained vivid.

“Because of you, Ervan…!!”

“Melia. That’s why this is…”

“Go away. I don’t want to see your face.”

What would it be like?

If you were to find out that you keep tangling your body with the very person you once blamed.

Hailon looked down at the sleeping Melia.

Sleeping in his arms without any guard up, and that gaze that always looked at him so gently might disappear in an instant.

That was why he had to hide it.

Just imagining receiving a hatred-filled look from Melia made his heart feel heavy.

He didn’t have the confidence to hear her say she didn’t want to see him ever again.

So, Melia, please understand this cowardly and selfish me who cannot be honest.

I just want to be Hailon to you, not Calix.

The words of apology circled inside his mouth, unable to make it out.