Answering God's Call - Chapter 19

‘There really was classified information that Donald MacMillan leaked to that Lubyanka embassy employee, and considering the achievements you made in the Balder War, this is where it ends for now. We’ll call you when the time comes, so don’t worry.’

Even a gracious promise for the future that left him at a loss for how to respond….

‘So, where should I go?’

‘Vandenberg. I picked somewhere not far from Belfast. Now that it’s come to this, it’s not bad to be under me.’

A demotion from operations officer to an ordinary courier. A ridiculous new cover identity as an exorcist priest. And a church, of all places, as his workplace, making it rather improper to exchange intelligence….

And so, Ruslan, who had never believed in God a single day in his life, let alone possessed any divine power or holy authority, spent an entire year collecting the offering box, counting money, and checking for intelligence hidden between the bills before passing it along.

Compared to the missions he had carried out before, the work was closer to menial labor, so there was nothing difficult about it, and thanks to the sacred setting of the church, the working environment itself was peaceful. But for Ruslan, who had lived nearly a decade without knowing what peace was, all of it was nothing more than a mind-numbingly dull routine.

If a person could die from boredom, he would have long since died and turned to bones from the sheer, dreadful monotony, Ruslan judged without hesitation.

***

“…So, as long as it’s not digging through the offering box, anything would feel good. It’s been a while since I’ve felt alive.”

After laying out what had happened since that day up until his demotion, Ruslan smiled as if he truly enjoyed being out of that dull routine, even in his current state wrapped in bandages.

At that smile, completely free of any shadow, Tatyana found herself at a loss for words and scratched the bridge of her nose, her drowsiness gone. When he smiled like that, he looked like nothing more than a carefree boy, and her gaze was drawn to him without realizing it….

Unfortunately, that man really isn’t normal.

Still, revealing that film in front of the branch chief and the deputy director. That must have been quite a predicament. Watching Ruslan, who kept smiling despite injuries to his shoulder and waist, made him seem increasingly strange, but Tatyana, who felt even more apologetic than before after hearing his story, quietly averted her gaze.

Why does he keep smiling? Is that part of holding a grudge too?

Should I let the patient sleep on the sofa and stand guard by the entrance instead? Thinking it would be better to keep some distance, she shifted her body, but Ruslan, stretching his legs out carelessly, nudged Tatyana’s knee.

“By the way, why did you do that back then?”

“…What?”

There had been so many things that day that she didn’t know what he was referring to.

“Even if I didn’t know you were a military intelligence agent, why didn’t you kill me?”

Ah, that. Thinking it was something serious, Tatyana let out a small scoff in relief.

“…Why else? On record, the one who died that day was me. If you had died too, Father, that would’ve been strange. The mission was already a success, so there was no need for two people to die in one night.”

“What about that mercenary earlier?”

“For God’s sake, you complain if I don’t kill, and you complain if I do.”

Tatyana lightly knocked away the man’s foot that hovered close enough to touch her knee and rolled her tongue inside her mouth.

‘I don’t hold any personal grudge. Consider it bad luck.’

At that moment, the gun barrel shifted, not toward the mercenary gasping for breath, but toward the one whose insides had burst and who was already dead. After firing two more shots into the corpse, Tatyana tapped the stunned mercenary’s face with the muzzle.

‘I didn’t intend to shatter his bones like this… but given the situation, it was hard to control my strength. They’re not gunshot wounds, so you won’t be suspected. Go to a hospital. Tell your employer you failed, exactly as it is. This isn’t a request. It’s an order.’

Arranging the scene to look as if the dead mercenaries had fought among themselves, Tatyana sent them off with a brief threat disguised as an order.

It was something she normally wouldn’t have done.

She would have killed the remaining two as well and cleaned up the scene as if she had never been there. That was what they were taught in Lubyanka, and she had always carried out what she was taught.

But she didn’t. She couldn’t.

‘I don’t like violence inflicted on a defenseless opponent.’

‘….’

‘If we’re hitting each other, that’s one thing. This is extremely unpleasant. It’s disgusting.’

To be precise, it was because the words the man in front of her had once said suddenly came to mind.

Even though the mercenaries had tried to kill them first, when she saw those men clutching their broken limbs and only managing shallow breaths under her one-sided assault, she couldn’t bring herself to pull the trigger.

It wouldn’t pull, as if a casing were jammed.

In the dim darkness, the moment she met eyes filled with an indescribable fear, it was horrifying, as if she herself had become one of the secret police holding a riding whip.

The face of the mercenary who had lost the will to attack, the raw fear laid bare across that twisted face, resembled the face she had seen reflected in the eyes of the secret police who ruled like dictators in the underground soundproof room, and in the end, she acted differently from the decision she had made in her head.

That the words of the man who couldn’t ignore her when she was covered in wounds on a winter day would put the brakes on her now. And yet, just a few days ago on a passenger ship crossing the ocean, she had killed without hesitation. If a person isn’t consistent, it becomes a problem….

“Acting like you’re going to kill them and then letting them go is strange.”

“…I have to let them go. That way, their employer will know they failed to kill us.”

Though she found it absurd that she herself had made such a loose decision, Tatyana had no intention of telling the truth. She didn’t want to admit that a few words from a man who was almost a stranger had influenced her decision. And—

“If they know we’re alive, they’ll move too. They might send other mercenaries to try to kill us again, or they’ll want to carry out whatever they had planned, whether it’s confidential or not, as quickly as possible. If time gets tight, they’ll feel psychological pressure too.”

It’s not like I let them go without thinking.

She couldn’t deny that it was a decision more driven by emotion than usual, but she hadn’t lowered her gun without considering what would come next. Tatyana, who habitually checked the pistol behind her back once more, slowly blinked.

“Tomorrow, once the telegram arrives, it’ll be certain, but hiring mercenaries probably means….”

“Probably means?”

“…I don’t know. I’m going to sleep.”

Had the tension loosened after getting past one crisis? Sleepiness poured over her uncontrollably. Leaning forward as if to bury her head in her knees, Tatyana shut her eyes tightly as if telling him not to bother her.

“…Father, stop talking and get some rest too.”

I should give up the sofa. In the end, with the thought that she had taken up half of it and they would both sleep uncomfortably, Tatyana fell asleep as if passing out.

“Sister?”

He called out in a whisper, but Tatyana, fast asleep, didn’t respond. The way she hugged her knees and buried her face looked uncomfortable. It would be nice if she could at least sleep comfortably for a few hours.

Thinking he should at least cover her with another blanket, Ruslan tried to get up, but he clenched his teeth at the burning pain in his shoulder and waist. It seemed the painkiller was starting to wear off. No matter how much the effect faded, it wasn’t pain that made it impossible to move, but Ruslan could no longer change his position.

At the slightest movement of the sofa, Tatyana’s body jerked. Gripping the pistol she had reflexively hidden behind her back, she raised eyes that were heavy with sleep yet sharply alert and scanned her surroundings. After guarding the area in a moment barely longer than an instant, Tatyana quickly fell asleep again.

Only then did Ruslan feel sorry, as if he had kept such an exhausted person by his side the whole time just to satisfy his own curiosity. Wetting his lips, he tilted his head loosely. Even as he slowly adjusted his posture, his gaze never left the woman sleeping soundly.

In case she might notice again and wake up.

It wasn’t because he was afraid the guarded muzzle would turn toward him. He simply hoped that the woman, who was always ready to spring up and retaliate at any time, could at least fall into a deeper sleep for a little while.

Just like that night when heavy rain poured down, when he had taken a woman who had been exposed defenselessly to violence and collapsed to the ground to a hotel, hoping that she could sleep, forgetting the cold and the pain for a few days.

Ruslan’s eyes, fixed on the woman maintaining an uncomfortable posture without moving, slowly sank. The way her body curled tightly as if refusing to allow anyone to approach looked pitiful.

He wondered if he should wake her once and tell her to lie down more comfortably, when Tatyana shifted slightly at that moment. Lifting her head to rest against the back of the sofa, she straightened her knees and stretched her legs out long beneath the sofa.

Catching the blanket that slipped to the floor, Ruslan took the chance to layer another blanket over her, covering up to her shoulders. As expected. The moment the weight of the blankets pressing on her body changed, her comfortably closed eyes flickered open.

“Shh, it’s alright.”

Just as her eyes began to tense in an effort to shake off sleep, Ruslan reached out and cupped her clear cheek.

“It’s me. Ruslan.”

Worried that the fragile sleep she had just fallen into would sharpen again, he soothed her carefully in a low voice. Tatyana frowned. Muttering something under her breath as if everything was a bother, she adjusted her hand on the pistol.