A Mad Lady’s Confession - Chapter 57

“I’m sorry… I don’t think I can eat….”

When Eleanor finally covered her mouth and spoke, the dishes filled with a lavish feast on the table were swiftly cleared away.

It was the first dinner the master had after returning in a long time. She had tried to endure it, not wanting the carefully prepared meal to be wasted because of her, but it was impossible.

Eleanor looked at Theobald and Melissa with an apologetic expression. It was even more frustrating because she herself didn’t know why she was like this.

“It seems the head chef will finally have something to worry about, madam.”

“That’s right. He’s been far too complacent, so this is for the best.”

Theobald and Melissa joked lightly to reassure her.

Eleanor suddenly realized that the atmosphere here was quite different from Nielsen in the capital.

In terms of formality, grandeur, and refined aesthetics, there was little difference, but here, there was none of that stiff, dry authority that felt like stale bread.

Unlike in the capital, Matthias seemed more relaxed, and as if that were nothing unusual, the servants also treated him comfortably without being tense or overly cautious.

Of course, not to the extent of disregarding the strict hierarchy, and all of them still displayed ingrained etiquette, but the atmosphere was different.

Eleanor lifted her glass and soothed her queasy stomach, thinking that if Lady Jules came here, she might not find a specific fault to pick at, but she would certainly not like it much.

“Can we prepare caramel pie right away?”

The unexpected request came from Matthias, seated across from her.

“Caramel pie…. Do you mean that caramel, Your Grace?”

Since he was not someone who had ever sought such things out, it was only natural to ask whether it was the name of a dish newly popular in the capital.

“Yes, that caramel made by melting sugar. The one topped with fruit.”

“Ah, yes…. If we inform the chef, it can be prepared right away.”

“Bring it to the reception room as soon as it’s ready. With a cup of hot milk.”

“Yes, Your Grace.”

Eleanor looked at Matthias with wide eyes. Sensing her gaze, he spoke casually.

“After a long journey, your stomach might feel unwell. It’s not ideal for a proper meal, but eating something sweet that suits your taste will help restore your strength.”

“….”

“I’d rather not hear that I brought you all this way only to make you sick.”

“…That’s not it….”

Eleanor hesitated.

“I only just met them today… I was worried that using sugar right away might make me seem… too extravagant.”

Lowering her gaze like someone who had committed a crime, she spoke softly.

What’s so important about sugar? Matthias found himself getting irritated. Not at Eleanor, but at whoever had created such ridiculous customs.

“Bring iced black tea. With sugar.”

At his command, one of the maids waiting in the dining room moved quickly.

A teacup at just the right temperature was placed in front of him. Matthias elegantly opened the silver sugar bowl and dropped in the hardened white cubes.

One, two, three… and four.

With the same refined motion he had used to take them out, he stirred them in and, without hesitation, brought the cup to his lips. The sweetened black tea slid down his throat. He drained it in one go and lightly set the empty cup back onto the saucer.

“From now on, whenever tea is served to me, make sure to include sugar. As much as possible.”

“Yes, Your Grace.”

Turning to Eleanor, he spoke in a slightly teasing yet deeply gentle tone.

“Did you hear that? The lord of this house is a spendthrift who dumps in four cubes of sugar. No matter what you do, it seems you’ll still be more modest than your husband.”

“…Pfft.”

A small smile bloomed at the corners of her lips, and he quietly watched it. If he hadn’t suddenly become aware that they were in the dining room, he might have kept staring without realizing it.

“…The chef will bring the pie shortly, so it would be best for you to rest upstairs until then.”

Eleanor nodded and stood. One of the maids who had come with them from the capital immediately moved to support her. He watched her departing figure blankly, and was about to finish up himself when—

“Your Grace.”

Head Maid Melissa approached and called to him carefully.

“What is it?”

“Should we call the physician, perhaps?”

“…It’s fine. The journey was exhausting, so she’ll improve after some rest.”

Of course, he also wanted to have Eleanor’s condition examined. But after what happened in the capital, Eleanor feared doctors. She did not openly refuse, but the cold sweat and tension she showed were pitiful to see.

She looked anxious, as if worried that her strange state might be discovered, even though they were not psychiatrists.

He intended to call the physician only when enough time had passed for her to feel comfortable, moving at a pace that would not distress her.

“That is precisely why I believe it would be best for her to be examined by a doctor.”

Melissa was not someone who spoke back to her master. She was a capable woman. Yet she kept repeating that Eleanor should be seen by a physician, and it made Matthias’s nerves grow sharp.

“What do you mean?”

“…Forgive me for speaking out of turn, but could it be that madam… is with child?”

“….”

“The way she feels unwell at the sight of food… it’s exactly how I was when I was carrying Redin….”

A certain day he had failed to restrain himself came to mind.

Madam Carnival’s violet garden, the sensations he had felt in the night remained vivid. The night he lost himself, helplessly intoxicated by the woman.

But after that, Eleanor had suffered from the monthly pains that came to a woman. So it could not be as Melissa suggested.

“That’s not the case, so it’s fine. I’ll call for one if needed.”

Matthias rose from his seat without hesitation. As if it were only natural, he headed toward Eleanor’s bedroom.

Since that incident, Matthias had not returned to his own bedroom and instead made sure to sleep beside Eleanor. Each time, he gave himself various reasons.

Because she was ill, because she did not seem to be in her right mind, because she might run out in the middle of the night and do something unpredictable.

Those reasons gave justification to his actions, yet they also left behind another question. Why was he paying such close attention to such troublesome reasons?

Click, as he opened the door and stepped inside, the woman was sitting on the floor near the bed, hugging her knees.

With a few long strides, he reached her.

“What is it? Did something happen?”

The nape of her neck, bowed low, looked thin and fragile. When he wrapped his arms around her trembling shoulders, the shaking soon stopped and she raised her head.

“It’s just… the bed is too cold.”

“….”

“It’s too big and too cold, and it feels frightening and unfamiliar….”

She was someone who had slept perfectly well even in the large bed at Nielsen. She had slept soundly at the second house in the capital as well.

It was not as if the mistress’s bedroom in Solvikviche was excessively lavish or grand. If anything, since it had been left unused for some time, it was rather simple without many decorations.

“Would you feel better if I lay there with you?”

She shook her head. The bed did not feel unfamiliar because she was alone. Even when they were together, she had found the bed unfamiliar. As if she did not have many memories of sleeping in a bed.

Matthias let out a quiet, low sigh and stood. After taking a few steps, he returned with two large pillows stuffed with wool. One was dropped onto the floor with a soft thud.

As Eleanor watched in confusion, wondering what he was doing, Matthias lay down on the floor, resting his head on the pillow.

“You should lie down too.”

“….”

“Come on.”

He placed a pillow beside him and urged her. After hesitating, she crawled closer across the floor. She lay down facing him, curling her body.

Matthias glanced down at her and asked, “Aren’t you cold?”

“No….”

It’s summer, so this should be fine. Matthias nodded slightly and closed his eyes.

“Then let’s sleep like this, here.”

“…Really?”

“Of course.”

“….”

For a while, the two lay there in silence.

Through the open terrace door, the warm night breeze carried with it the scent of nature she had never smelled before. From far away, a low horn-like sound echoed faintly, like the call of a distant ship.

It’s a really nice place, here.

Even though only a few hours had passed since arriving, Eleanor had already grown very fond of this place. It felt as comfortable as if she had returned home.

Even though it would be more accurate to say her true home was a room under the roof of Count Brynhill’s residence.

“Am I… bothering you?”

“Well, what do you think?”

“…I think I must be very troublesome. I only cause disturbances, and now I’ve become a problem that could erupt anytime, anywhere.”

“….”

“You once said you don’t like risk, didn’t you? I’ve become exactly that. So then… why don’t you send me away?”

“Because you’re my responsibility.”