A Mad Lady’s Confession - Chapter 55

“El, I think I’ve fallen in love.”

“Really? H-How?”

How could we ‘possibly do that’?

“What do you mean how, El? Love comes suddenly one day.”

“Suddenly, how?”

“It’s like suddenly getting hit by an apple falling while you’re napping in the shade. It’s abrupt, but when you wake up startled, something sweet is waiting for you.”

“W-What kind of person are they?”

“Hmm, well….”

“Don’t drag it out!”

“That person is always beautiful, warm… and kind. They don’t judge people by status or appearance. They’re someone who would treat people like us without prejudice. And that person always smells… like fresh herbs. Someone like a cool, cheerful summer breeze.”

“….”

“I fell in love with someone like that, El.”

The blush coloring Del’s cheeks was irresistibly lovely, and enviable too. When I tickled Del’s waist and urged for more, peals of laughter rang out.

Loose pajamas draped to the ankles, while unkempt hair swayed down to the waist. Clutching a stomach, laughter came in bright, carefree bursts until tears welled up.

“….”

Through the blurred vision, warm fingers brushed past her eyes. The moisture that had gathered dully was wiped away, and slowly, the man’s figure came into view.

Even after their eyes met, the man sat at the edge of the bed and continued to wipe around her eyes.

“Eleanor.”

“….”

“What happened?”

His tone was the same as usual. He did not press her, asking why she had done such a thing in the middle of the night or reminding her of the promise not to act impulsively.

Even so, Eleanor could not open her mouth. Because she had promised. And besides….

Matthias’s gaze lingered on the face of the woman lying facedown, lips pressed tightly together.

Since that night, the woman had burned with fever, muttering nonsense and sobbing. She endured on nothing but water and medicine, falling asleep again only to repeat the same behavior.

Only now, after she could finally swallow a few spoonfuls of thin soup, did he ask what had happened.

Slowly parting her chapped, dry lips, the woman let out a low answer.

“…I had a nightmare.”

“What kind of nightmare?”

“…Just… a dream from long ago….”

“Eleanor.”

“….”

“Is there something you’re hiding from me?”

What do I know about you?

Two years ago, you tried to kill the Crown Prince’s lover, and even while remembering nothing about that night, you calmly confessed it was your doing.

Also, you received no financial support from your family, and now, or perhaps all along, you are mentally unstable.

As he sifted through the information, wondering if something was hidden between the fragments and what it could mean, Matthias asked the question without even understanding his own intent.

He could not understand why he wanted to know such things now. Even so, he could not help but ask.

“Tell me, Eleanor. Is there a secret you couldn’t tell me?”

From the beginning, weren’t secrets something that could only be shared between people who were close? He had never formed such a relationship, nor had he ever wanted to know someone else’s secrets.

But at this moment, Matthias had no choice but to demand it from the woman. That she lay bare something intimate of hers. Otherwise….

“…There’s nothing like that.”

After lowering her gaze once, the woman slowly raised her body and sat up. Her wavy curls flowed down to her waist in soft ripples. Against her pale, clear figure, the only color was that hair.

Eleanor, who had grown noticeably gaunt over the past few days, opened her mouth as if she had made up her mind.

“If you want a divorce, I’ll accept it….”

“….”

“…I think… I’m probably very strange.”

And I think I’ll only become stranger from now on. Eleanor couldn’t bring herself to say the rest and bit her lower lip.

Matthias’s gaze fell to her hands, clasped together and fidgeting. The scratches from when she had torn at the rose vines were still there, leaving red traces. If he thought they resembled her state of mind, that would be overly sentimental.

“As I promised, I’ll… divorce you quietly. So that no harm comes to Nielsen anymore…. I’ll make sure that any trouble related to me doesn’t reach Nielsen…. I’ll also avoid appearing in high society as much as possible.”

These were the very conditions he had once wanted. The woman was someone who would only pass through his life, and he had a family to protect, as well as the pride of being Matthias Nielsen. So the resolutions coming from her mouth should have been proper, even welcome.

“I’ll live quietly. …Somewhere out of sight, just….”

That she would never appear anywhere his eyes could reach again.

That made it hard to breathe. A suffocating feeling tightened his chest, one he couldn’t even understand himself.

Why? Why does it have to be like that? It felt like becoming a child who knew nothing, throwing a stubborn tantrum. Even though as a child, he had never known how to throw one.

“I’ll… follow your decision.”

That was the woman’s final answer.

Matthias, how is it? It turned out exactly as you wanted. It even matches the conclusion you came to in the carriage. If anything, this is better. There’s no need to waste time persuading her, nor to engage in a pointless struggle during the process.

All you have to do is nod once. After that, everything can be handled by the family’s legal representative. Just once, all you need to do is nod.

“…Eleanor.”

There’s no need to warn her. Just saying you understand would be enough, and everything would fall into place on its own. Even the duties and responsibilities placed on him.

His eyes met hers. Those light green eyes, fading like withered grass.

“We’re not divorcing.”

“….”

“At least not for a year.”

To the woman staring at him in confusion, Matthias added that condition.

Because the remaining time must be honored.

The responsibility he upheld even toward a mere servant could not simply be set aside for her. That same sense of obligation could extend to her as well. He piled up reason after reason for himself.

He gently cupped her pale cheek. It had been so long since any color touched that face that it now looked utterly drained of life. He brushed it lightly with his thumb, as if the flush of embarrassment might bloom there again.

“We’re going to Gammelstad.”

If they left Belgar for a while, that would be enough. Even if the woman displayed strange behavior, they could go somewhere where no one would speak of it.

“I’ve left the estate unattended for too long.”

Yes, that’s right.

“And I’m getting tired of Belgar.”

More precisely, everything in the capital of Römern had begun to exhaust him.

“It’s a very lively place. Everything feels alive. New and fascinating things come and go every day, and except for the hours when people sleep, there’s never a quiet moment.”

Ironically, Matthias was persuading Eleanor. Because he was worried that the woman who had spoken of divorce might refuse to follow him.

Without even realizing it himself, he felt strangely anxious as he continued speaking.

“And there’s a vast sea. What you can pull up from beneath it will be things you’ve never seen before in your life.”

“…The sea?”

Eleanor had never seen the sea before.

Long ago, in a fairy tale she had read with Del, she had once imagined it. The idea that living creatures could breathe within such a vast body of water had felt almost mystical.

When the woman showed her first sign of interest, Matthias added more.

“That’s right. The most beautiful sea in all of Römern.”

“….”

“So you’ll come with me to Gammelstad.”

His tone was firm, as if refusal would not be tolerated.

“You have to keep your promise, Eleanor.”

To the woman who had failed to keep her promise not to bring harm to Nielsen, Matthias offered another promise instead.

In her eyes, like withered grass, a single drop of moisture gathered. He took that faint glimmer as her answer.

***

Gammelstad was a port city that required a full fifteen days of travel from the capital, Belgar.

With a population large enough to be called the second capital and a well-established system, it was a thriving city.

Built on trade, the city was extremely wealthy thanks to its capable lord, and one could not find the beggars or vagrants commonly seen in the capital.

Just as each city had its own customs, the people of Gammelstad were generally lively and warm-hearted.

Someone who had once visited described Gammelstad as freshly caught fish still flapping with life, while comparing the capital, Belgar, to fish long dead and rotting.

The salty scent of the sea, the wide-open scenery. A place breathing with life all year round thanks to its energetic people. That was Matthias’s domain, Gammelstad.