A Mad Lady’s Confession - Chapter 36

Eleanor drew in a deep breath with a sharp inhale. When she grasped the bedpost, her body swayed lightly back and forth.

Mrs. Nella, the head maid, skillfully pulled the corset tight. As the laces drew taut, the constriction from her waist up to her chest tightened. Her breath was already catching, and though she told herself not to, a strained groan slipped out of Eleanor’s lips on its own.

“Just how, ugh… every day, how do people, hgh… live wearing something like this?”

Watching her mistress speak in broken breaths, Mrs. Nella swallowed a laugh and gave her answer.

“It creates a slender waist and enhances the elegance of a dress.”

“My waist, is already, slim, ugh!”

Mrs. Nella thought so as well. The Duchess’s waist was narrow and her figure slender enough that she didn’t need to be cinched in such a corset.

When revealing the décolletage, a symbol of femininity, many noblewomen with smaller chests wore corsets with padding for correction, but the Duchess had a fairly full figure for her frame, enough that she didn’t need that either.

But what could be done? A proper noblewoman must not reveal the natural lines of her body.

After firmly tying the tightly drawn corset laces at the back, to the point it looked almost painful, the Duchess pressed a hand to her chest and took a deep breath in and out. Her breathing sounded stifled, as if it refused to come easily.

Mrs. Nella quickly lifted the waiting dress over the Duchess’s head. Even as she put it on, muttering continued, small, trivial questions mixed into her words.

“I don’t understand why I have to change dresses three times a day either. I’m wearing them clean, so why do I have to change?”

The dresses for morning, noon, and evening were all different. After breakfast, if her attention wandered even a little, it was already time to change clothes again. Sometimes it felt like she spent the entire day just changing outfits.

When Lady Jules had been at the Nielsen household, she had gotten quite angry over etiquette, so Eleanor had hurriedly followed along, but she still didn’t understand.

“It is a matter of dignity befitting the lady of a great noble house.”

Mrs. Nella answered readily, yet she almost wanted to ask in return. How could someone raised as a noble lady not know that?

Even if it were a modest family, if one was born bearing the title of a noble, these were habits drilled into them from childhood, learned until they became second nature.

Perhaps sensing that question, Eleanor slipped her arm into the sleeve of the dress and spoke with slight embarrassment, “Of course, I do know. I just wonder why it has to be ‘naturally’ that way. If it’s like this, there’s just more laundry to do, isn’t there?”

To Eleanor, the life of nobility was filled with things that were troublesome and not very rational.

“I also don’t understand why I can’t put three sugar cubes in my tea. I like things sweet.”

Once, during tea time with Lady Jules and Miss Sorelson, she had put three cubes of sugar into her tea, only to be met with their expressions as if she had eaten an insect. They didn’t even tell her why.

Only after carefully observing Lady Jules and Miss Sorelson whenever they drank tea did she realize it. That only up to two sugar cubes were allowed in a teacup.

“Why are two allowed, but not three?”

“That would be considered extravagance and indulgence.”

Her startled gaze turned toward the doorway at the sudden low voice.

Matthias was leaning against the doorframe, watching Eleanor dress, as if he had been there for some time. When their eyes met, he gave a light gesture. At that, the people gathered there withdrew all at once, like a receding tide.

Moving with slow, elegant steps toward Eleanor, Matthias lowered his gaze and met her light green eyes. As a faint flush spread across her pale cheeks under his gaze, he felt satisfied.

Strange, wasn’t it? His one-year wife had been mad, and perhaps she still was. And yet the bashfulness of a mad woman pleased him.

Even as he thought that, he couldn’t easily look away. As he only stared, Eleanor, growing a little more at ease, opened her mouth.

“Is the meaning of just one cube of sugar really that heavy?”

She had only added one more to make three.

Matthias gave his answer evenly.

“That is how the nobles of Römern are. You aren’t unaware of it either, are you, my wife?”

As if to say, you too were raised as part of the nobility, so you already know.

Eleanor nodded as if it were obvious and continued, haltingly, “Of, of course I know. What I’m wondering is, if one cube of sugar is called extravagance and indulgence, then this dress I’m wearing costs about a thousand cubes of sugar to buy. And I can only wear this dress for about three hours. I’m not supposed to wear the same dress twice. So what I mean is—”

The woman, who had looked like a young girl at a loss in front of a man she liked, lifted her eyes straight to meet his.

“What I mean is, why is everything just passed over with the words ‘because we’re nobles’?”

“….”

No matter who she asked, the answer was always the same. Because they are nobles, that was how it has to be.

She wasn’t trying to argue. It was just that her innate curiosity kept pricking at her. Why? Why does it have to be that way?

Like a child seeing the world for the first time, every thought she had trailed a question mark. It was almost regrettable that there was no one who would answer her like a kind and gentle mother, because she found herself questioning everything.

For some reason, Matthias felt a sharp sting. It was like the tip of a small, pointed needle pricking the back of his neck.

Why, you ask? Well, that’s because they are nobles—

As he was about to give the customary answer, his words caught in his throat, and a vague puzzlement spread within him as well. Then why does it have to be that way?

Their eyes met again, the woman waiting for his answer. He quickly shook off the question as if brushing it away. And without wavering, as he always had, he gave a firm, confident reply.

“The nobles of Römern are born in a blessed land and live enjoying many rights. Even if it is somewhat inconvenient, there are duties that must be carried out. For example—”

He lifted a hand and lightly wrapped it around the waist of the woman before him. The warmth against his palm and the slender feel he could grasp were quite satisfying.

“Wearing uncomfortable clothes is hardly worth mentioning.”

Unable to hold back, he gently stroked her. For some reason, he couldn’t bring himself to let go.

As the thumb of his large hand brushed the area beneath her breast, along her ribs, Eleanor bit her lower lip. The way her ears flushed red, matching the color of her lips, was quite pleasing to look at.

“…Resisting sugar, as well?”

“Of course. Come to think of it, haven’t you been trying quite hard to fulfill your duties as well, madam?”

The pale pink of her earlobes flared red in an instant. She was remembering the day she had come to him, saying she would fulfill a wife’s duty.

The moment he saw the woman’s shoulders flinch, Matthias suddenly felt heat rise within him.

He was doing this again. That hadn’t been his intention from the start. All he had meant to do was say what he came for and tease her lightly before leaving.

Since that night, a more intimate and strange tension had lingered between them at all times.

The woman promised she wouldn’t do anything strange again, and he chose to believe her. They had reconciliation sex, and afterward, Eleanor no longer hesitated to lean into him softly, and Matthias allowed her into his arms.

Even if it was only on the surface, they had been living somewhat like a married couple. Matthias felt fairly pleased with that, and yet at times, he felt something difficult to endure.

Just like now. At the familiar surge of arousal rising instantly from deep in his lower abdomen, he swallowed a groan. Right behind them was the bed. He wanted to pull her into his arms and lift her dress right there.

The uncharacteristic desire rising within him, he swallowed it down as he slowly closed his eyes. It wasn’t an appropriate time to mix their bodies. After talking at length about a noble’s duties, acting on pure instinct would be far too hypocritical.

Matthias straightened the body that had been leaning toward the woman. Trying not to let his gaze linger too long on her as she took small breaths as if she had been holding them, he held out the envelope in his hand.

“What is this?”

“Let’s call it a new duty as the mistress of the Nielsen household.”

The woman’s eyes, fresh like green grapes, shimmered with curiosity and unease.